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| I was in need of a spiritual boost yesterday. I said many a prayer seeking wisdom. All I got was, “Hey, you got a Bible right in front of you! Pick it up and see what happens.” I opened it up to wherever and read this: “O LORD, you deceived me, and I was deceived; you overpowered me and prevailed. I am ridiculed all day long; everyone mocks me. “Whenever I speak, I cry out proclaiming violence and destruction. So the word of the LORD has brought me insult and reproach all day long. “But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.” ~ Jeremiah 20:7-9 Jeremiah said this after the chief temple priest had him beaten and thrown into prison for prophesying. How on earth does that apply to me? No idea, except perhaps the last part. Sometimes I want to keep my mouth shut when it comes to speaking about Jesus and the things he’s done. Do I fear ridicule? Sometimes, but not nearly as often as when I first started this blog. I guess that means I’ve grown stronger in my faith, especially in the last year. Maybe that’s what God wanted to tell me; that I need not fear any lack of faith on my part. I’ve taken more steps forward on this journey than back, and that’s something to rejoice. I understand Jeremiah’s feelings about trying to hold in what God wants me to say or do. Doing so hurts like hell sometimes. I like the first part about Jeremiah being decieved by God. I've often felt that way, especially when something painful happens that I don't understand. Knowing one of God's chosen prophets felt the same, well, now I don't feel so guilty about being furious with God. Besides, I've always said I doubt if the creator of the universe fears my wrath! Plus, it's not as though God doesn't know what I'm feeling anyway, so why attempt to hide it? Flipping through the Bible again, I found Psalms 105:3-4: “Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice. “Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.” As long as I seek God’s face, everything will eventually fall into place. I need not worry about being misunderstood with the things I do, the things I say, or the things I write. That doesn’t mean it won’t happen, but I cannot control everything, nor should I expect myself to. All I can do is my best, as fallible and feeble as it is. I have to trust God will strengthen my efforts enough to where they mean something. |
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