Curious Incidents of a Flailing Mermaid

Oh my word, I was so tired today. So tired that I felt like I had a hangover. But it was my final day of work before I stopped for the summer. So, I now have 6 weeks off :D which means I can annoy you even more ☺


Prompt for day nineteen: Take something you are frustrated with: The toilet seat left up again? The folks who seem to hold family reunions in the middle of the aisle at Wal-Mart? Whatever it is, take the incident and write a humorous revenge piece. What are the ridiculous lengths you would go to?

I think I have already mentioned my noisy neighbours with their teenage, beer fuelled, garden parties and awful singing. There is one thing in particular that the teenagers do that really irritates us. I'll admit, it annoys Chris more than me - I'm a lot more chilled out than he is - but still :)

The boys are really into their ball sports. Therefore, they play a lot of cricket and football in the summer as they pollute the peace and tranquility of an otherwise lovely time of year with their unwelcome noise! Although, to be fair, I encourage all sporting activities, so actually this is not that bad.

However, another source of annoyance is the constant 'thud' of balls hitting the fence and invariably doing damage to the wooden panels which they have never put right! It is our side of the fence and thus our panels that are being damaged which makes the situation all the more galling, especially as we paid for new fencing to be put in not so long ago.

So, how would I get my revenge? Well, in order to nullify the unwelcome interruption and damage, I have two inter-related options. The first is a fence that is loaded with a ray that automatically zaps offending objects that come into contact with it. Even better, a deluxe version of this ray could target the person who caused the object to come into contact with the fence - putting an end to interruptions both now and forever more in one fell swoop. Although, I'll admit, that isn't very humane! I had also considered a giant trap and slingshot to be put into a trap door in the garden so they could be hurled away from me as far as is possible, but, again, I thought that might be taking things (literally) a bit too far.