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Thoughts that clammer through my head |
| I hugged him tight and kissed his lips. "Call me to let me know you made it in and remember to call me to say good night." I said. He smiled and said, "I will. I love you. Thanks for bringing me to the airport." "I will always bring you to the airport," I said while grinning. "When I quit bringing you, then you have something to worry about!" He laughed and grabbed the handle of his suitcase and walked into the terminal. "You've got two days!" he yelled over his shoulder, laughing. He hates these separations too. He will call me three times before his flight leaves, just to talk. Every time I watch him leave, my heart aches, which seems so crazy because I also look forward to these short two day trips where I can get a lot of work done. He knows that. He knows that I set aside things I want to do, to take care of home, cook some decent meals, exercise and still work part time. He's the first one to admit he is high maintenance and by contrast he tells me I am so easy to be with. It took a long time for me to even find him. I say that because when we finally did meet each other I felt like I had known him forever. He too said there was a strange connection that he never experienced before. We've been together for 20 years, some of it pretty rocky, but we are always together. We just really enjoy each other's company. We like to sit and talk in the mornings over a cup of coffee before work starts. We take breaks throughout the day to have lunch together or just talk about things we are working on. We are both so lucky to be able to work from home. The first time we were ever apart was in 2009 for two months. My job and his job kept us in different places. When he was able, he joined me and brought an engagement ring with him. Something I never thought he would do. He said being apart gave him the window he needed to see what life would be like without me, and he didn't like it. He never wanted to be without me again. We were married in 2011. Our families just said, "it's about time!" but they were really excited for us. He is my best friend. Our moments apart are very brief now. One to two days, and yet every time I watch him leave, I say a prayer to bring him home safe. I never thought I would feel this way about anyone in my life. I'm never tired of seeing him; I'm never tired of our conversations and each day seems like another adventure. My heart aches when I watch him leave, and yet I know when I get home I will work like crazy to get so many things done while he is gone. I'll crank the music up high to lift my spirits and to keep the house from feeling so empty. I will be just fine until I go to bed. I'll reach across to feel for his hand to hold, like we do every night, and it won't be there. I'll toss and turn unable to sleep and then my phone will ring. It will be him, calling to say good night. |
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