Flecks of Varied Colors

My Secret Story - A Confession

MARCH 1, 2021 PROMPT
When you are old, what do you think children will ask you
to tell stories about?

A Confession

This question got me thinking. I'm still on my twenties and I still don't have stories worth telling to my future children. It seems that I haven't achieved something big yet aside from my scholastic prowess and the various school contests I won. And if I do have, they might find it uninteresting. However, I might be sharing to them a story that only a few happened to know. A life story that has long been kept as a secret for me and to my only trusted friends. Even my parents and siblings didn't know this and I still don't have the courage to let them know. Writing this made me feel uneasy, afraid, and reluctant but I already found the strength to share this with you. I'll just hope that you'll accept me for who I am and that this won't be a less to my credibility as your fried here and as a human being.

         Well, this happened not so long ago amidst the raging COVID-19 PANDEMIC. I don't know if I would be grateful that a pandemic happened, but great things came to me beyond my expectations. It was only last year when the government announced a community lock-down to prevent the spread of the virus. For almost a month, I stayed home as our company underwent a temporary shutdown. Having no work and having nothing to do means total boredom. It's a good thing I have my phone and I spent most of my unfruitful hours watching Tiktok clips and YouTube content. There was one time when an ad popped up on my screen. It was about a dating app advertisement intended for some men or curious men interested in other men. Simply put, it's a gay dating app. I opened it, downloaded and installed the app, and then my story began.

         On one unusual day in April, the thirteenth, and it's Friday, a great unexpected thing happened. It's not the usual Friday 13th happenings you've seen on the movies or some unlucky events from your grandma's horror tales. Instead, it's something positive, inspiring, and breathtaking (well, that's how I felt that day). I received a "tap" notification from the dating app I mentioned. It was from someone whose name I can't read-a lazy combination of letters, special characters, and emojis. His profile was concealed with a vague image of something I can hardly figure out-it somehow resembled a human body though. Showing a slack interest in his invitation, I tapped his profile back. After a few seconds, I received a message from him. It was just the usual "Hi and Hello" greeting you would first say to a stranger. I replied to his greeting and then got a quick response from him asking for my name, my age, and my location in abbreviated "ASL". "If you're interested, then you could've checked my profile." was a rude response. I always put my real name, my age, location and other identification visible on almost all social apps I joined (although this isn't advisable). "That was so strict of you," was his reply. In our dialect, we use "strict" to describe someone who talks rudely. He showed hints of being offended when he added, "I was asking you nicely. Please have the decency to acknowledge it or say no otherwise." I stopped for a moment, felt the guilt, then picked up the pace with a reply, "Apologies, that's how I chat to strangers." You didn't even bother to send your pic while you have already seen mine." There was no response, so I added, "Please have the initiative." The screen showed "... is typing..." Then a message appeared, "I'll send one, but please promise that you won't mock me with how I look." I'm not good looking". "Of course, I'm not good looking either." was my reply.

         In few seconds, an image attachment appeared. I waited patiently for my screen to load the image completely (slow internet here). Then a gorgeous young guy appeared. He is built well, with signs of muscle underneath his neat clothing. "I'm sorry, I'm ugly. You might not like me after seeing that." was his added message. While I still marveled at his gorgeous looks, I replied, "Who said you're ugly? Man, you're hot!". "LOL" was his response. He might have had an outburst of laughter after reading my reply. "I'm not kidding." I added. "It isn't you who's ugly. It's me", was my continued chat, trying to direct the conversation to me this time. "No, you're not. I like your looks." was his flattering reply. "Can we meet?" he added, while I was still quivering with excitement and delight from his previous statement. "Wherr? When? Bow?" was my prompt response, not minding the typos that resulted from a frantic search for letters on my phone's keypad. "Where?" "Now?" I sent it again, this time with the right letters. "Yes," Right now, At your place, "was his reply. I was still in my state of delight and failed to decipher what words to respond to his invitation. Then I realized that I had already agreed to his request, as my screen displayed "sure!".

         Things happened as quickly as I could imagine. I didn't know how I agreed to a stranger's invitation nor how I consented to let him come to my place. Interrogations crowded my mind at that moment. He might be a thief, or a coronavirus carrier, or worse, have had HIV. Being a thief is not a perfect fit to describe him based on how he looks, though. These were the risks I took in my eagerness to meet him. After many preparations I made, we finally met. It felt a little awkward at first, but then our conversation ran smoothly right after we fully introduced ourselves. We had had our talk about life, about "who is", "what is", "where is" and "how is" until I lost track of where our conversation brought us. There were sudden unfamiliar moments when everything came to a halt and only silence lingered in my room. There were also times I caught him staring at me and failed attempts to bring his face closer to mine.

         Anyway, I don't want to go into much detail about what really happened while he was at my place. It will oblige me to change the content rating of this blog. During that encounter, before he left, he said that he liked me and wished to be my boyfriend. Well, I liked him too, so I agreed. As quick as it might sound, yes, we became lovers at our first meeting. After that, we've been texting every day and every night. He always came to visit me after his work and we shared dinner together.

         Fast forward to the present. He's now staying with me. Although we keep our relationship secret, we are both happy and content. We don't need other people's approval. We are now on our tenth month together, and I'm hoping for more happy months to come until forever.


         Well, that is all for me to tell. If I ever get the chance to have children, I would tell them this story and how happy I am with the person I dearly love. Thank you for reading this.


By the way, if you have time
please read as well my poem written for him

STATIC

The Clandestine Love  (E) A Perseplolis Sonnet Written for my special someone.