Complex Numbers

For Better or Worse

PROMPT May 16th

What do you do to make the world a better place?

What, my mere existence isn't enough?

Seriously, though, I'm no judge of that. "Better" is a subjective quality. Sometimes what's good for one person or group is worse for another. We can't always know the full ramifications of our words or actions. As with the classic butterfly effect   in chaos theory, sometimes something small and insignificant can have huge consequences down the line.

Most times, though, the effects tend to dampen out and the end result is indistinguishable from random noise.

So, I don't know. I mean, I don't actively try to make the world a worse place. But when I think of anything I do to proactively improve things, I find my brain skittering away from the mere possibility of mentioning them. I would prefer not to shout virtue to the world. In fact, I take great pains to project an image of a selfish drunk who's only in it for himself.

Not that I haven't touted my own good deeds in the past, sometimes even in here. But I just never feel right about it afterward.

I guess I just feel like I'm often annoyed by the people who are like "Look at me! I give money to poor people! I help old ladies across the street! I only eat hyperlocal, organic, cruelty-free food! I'm so virtuous I make demons gnash their teeth in frustration and angels weep in jealousy!" And I don't ever want to be one of those people. Everyone has vices and virtues, and to proclaim one's virtues can make other people think you're hiding something horrid.

There are none so evil as those who claim to be virtuous.

There's another thing, too. Like, a lot of people, when they need to reference someone who is a Good Person™, they invoke the name of Mother Teresa. Mother Teresa was objectively a horrible person   who promoted the idea that Suffering Is A Good Thing, and the more you suffer, the closer you are to God. I have a word for people who promote suffering, and that word is: evil. No, she was a villain with a vast, powerful PR team. And yet a lot of people still think she made the world a better place.

So I prefer to keep such things to myself. People will spin anything I say or do the way they want to, anyway, and I'm not going to sit here and justify myself to others.