Some days are Sunny, others are a B*tch

Prompt for May 27, 2021

Write about your first __________. Loss of innocence about our world.

I felt magical sparks in the very air around me the summer of 1968. Sweet fifteen and the world was exciting, changing and deadly. It was a time for awakening of hormones and finding my place in a changing crazy world.

I saw myself as a caged blackbird wanting to spread my wings and try to fly. My parents were eagles watching me closely. Then I saw Franco Zeffrelis film “Romeo and Juliet” and realized I wasn’t too young. That summer, a beautiful boy looked at me with soulful eyes and I recognized those delicious butterflies.

We were at a church camp that I had been going to every summer since I was ten. This same boy who had blended in with other pimply pests with farting and spit ball contests suddenly looked well........hot and interesting. Murray Webster was a combination of The Who’s beautiful Roger Daltry and intelligent suave David McCallum (“The Man from U.n.c.l.e.”’s Illya Kuryakin ). Their posters lined my wall from “Tiger Beat” magazine.

The camp was located in the beautiful mountains of North Carolina. We boarded a bus from Atlanta at seven in the morning for a lovely five hour ride. There were twelve of us, giggling adolescent girls and sullen boys with our counselors. This year they were a married couple in their twenties. We actually sang war protest songs on the bus along with "We will Overcome!" This was going to be a groovy summer. Usually a middle aged deacon and his kind but “uncool” wife chaperoned us. They were always nice but made sure all rules were followed.

It was 1968 and socially everything was changing in the world. This year’s counselors, Greg and Julie, were an example of contemporary America. They were Christians exploring how traditional church fit with modern culture. Greg played guitar and we spent evenings huddled around the fireplace singing folk songs and discussing the lyrics of Phil Ochs, Bob Dylan, Pete Seeger, Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel.

We debated about the Vietnam War and spoke (cried over)the many friends and family that were there. None of us understood the reason our young, mostly working class guys had to go. It was an awful place where the unfair fight was in the jungles. Our troops shot to kill whatever moved and the poor village women and children became targets. So many men and women that made it back weren’t the same anymore. Then there was the unfairness of the ones that got out of the draft due to college or who Daddy was.

We actually got to go and see the movie “Romeo and Juliet”, which was very steamy for a movie then. I held damp hands with Murray. One night we snuck out of the cabin and found a porch of one of the unused private cabins. He had gotten some very cheap wine and a blanket. Mostly we kissed and spoke about the stuff we had rapped about with the group. Of course there was making out. But thanks to the counselors we had, we discussed the emotions we were battling with. It was a cool learning experience for me; to be loved but not let it get out of hand.

It was a turbulent summer for our country. The killing of MLK and Bobby Kennedy, the bloody raging war on TV and coffins coming home. I had a special male friend in Nam that I waited anxiously for his letters. He came back a very different man than the boy I remembered. He was driving an 18 wheeler, popping bennies to stay awake and taking downers to sleep. We curled up on a blanket in our backyard and he went to sleep. I drifted off also and woke to him screaming at me. It was frightening. The anti-war music stirred our very souls. We wrote protest letters and marched.

It was a summer of growing up and losing my innocence about the world around me.