Enga mellom fjella

Flight Lessons

Juliana wanted to fly.

She'd heard all the reasons why she couldn't.

No wings. (stating the obvious)
Too big a butt. (said with a dismissive laugh)
You're nuts! (as if they weren't)

She went to the Magic Carpet store on 1st and Higgins. Asked to speak to Mrs. McCarpet.

"I know you're really Aladdin in drag. I won't tell anyone if you teach me how to fly."

Exposed! Never! He nodded, thought Nothing is sweeter than blackmail... except revenge, and scheduled lessons at 4 a.m. on Sunday mornings. In this win-or-lose-we-booze town there'd be no one out-and-about sober enough to notice.

Lift off. Juliana could feel her ass rise just a few inches. Then plop. They practiced in the middle of the high-school football field away from all the nosy trees and prairie dogs. Plus, the grass was softer than concrete and less abrasive than the gravel race track.

5 weeks of bruises... but Juliana did not give up. Bunny (another of Aladdin's disguises) kept encouraging her and truthfully? She was making progress, big butt and all.

The secret... shh... was never about the weight, size or lack of wings. If Dumbo could fly so could Juliana!

Week 7. Lift vertically. Slowly. Taking off like Mary Poppins in her umbrella was for pros. Word was that even she had crashed a time or two whilst getting the hang of it. Slowly now.

Juliana hovered over Bunny's head. Smirked. Then carefully focused on the pine tree on the other side of the race track and flew! until she crashed into it. Oh, the flying was fine. In her ecstasy she'd forgotten how to stop. The pine, however, had not forgot.

Bunny laughed. "Give up?"

Juliana hissed. "No Aladdin." That shut him up.

She collected a few pine cones she'd knocked off. She was nothing if not tidy. Then she glared before huffing off. "Next week... or else."

It was time for some fun. The next two weeks went well. Juliana flew down the bike path cackling. One drunk swore later that he'd seen a witch. When Mrs. McCarpet heard this from a customer she wryly replied, "This is a carpet shop. If you want a broom go to Walmart."

By Week 10 Juliana was getting the hang of it. A few more lessons and she could apply for her flying permit. No one would dare deny her. She dreamed of figure eights and swooping in a dive like a swallow or waving at passers-by while flying upside down.

Bunny was amused. Juliana would not give up! But it was time for a harsh reality check. Someone had reported a UFO racing down the river. This would not do. Discretion was an important part of flying around non-magical people.

Bunny flew Juliana on her carpet-woven-for-two to a place where other than scaring a bear, a beaver or a bobcat no one would notice. The ospreys always did, but what they shared was always dismissed as gossip.

Juliana flew. Superman would have been proud of how she sped off. She landed as daintily as Dumbo. Bunny said, "we need to celebrate before your encore."

Two small glasses. A sweet amber liquid. A toast.

Juliana soared again. Higher, higher. Lower, lower. Loopy, loopy, oops.

The blackberry patch hugged her in a welcome-home-momma moment.

Bunny helped Juliana... carefully... to extricate her from the needy thorns. "Little vampires," Juliana muttered. "Never fly while..." Juliana's glare stopped Bunny from finishing.

Instead Bunny handed her a bottle of calamine lotion. "You'll need this." No need to mention that her poison ivy and oak rashes would bloom before evening.

Two blessedly quiet weeks later, Juliana strode into the thankfully empty Magic Carpet shop wearing a loose fitting tent. She stopped Aladdin in his thoughts. He was dressed as Mr. Green Jeans to give worn out Mrs. McCarpet a well-deserved vacation. Juliana wasn't fooled.

"I want to sign up for my flight permit. — Now."

She's as stubborn as Mary Poppins had been. Some folks never know when to give up. Aladdin sighed. "Fill this out."

© Copyright 2021 Kåre Enga [178.188] (18.juli.2021)

~675 words