Dissociated Thoughts

In 5 Years

PROMPT September 2nd - Where do you see yourself five years from now? Be realistic, write about your writing plans, or other plans you may have.

         Realistically, I hope to be alive in five years. According to the doctors, I should have died three years ago. Facing my mortality has been a hard pill to swallow. (And I know about swallowing pills...) It has given me a new appreciation for the complex beauty of life. A gratefulness for the little things and every single moment. Even now, I am living on borrowed time. Last year, I somehow survived complete kidney failure and a blood clot. My healthcare team is still stumped. But, I know the reason I'm still alive. The Lord still has plans for me.

         In the event that I am still alive in five years, I will still be residing in the home I currently live, taking care of my animals and plants, away from the world at large. I'm sure I will be grateful for all the little things in life that make it worth living, and not allowing all the problems in life to overwhelm me. If I last 5 more years, I will have celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary and my 50th birthday. I hope to still be coherent enough to continue writing and I would like to have a compilation of my poetry published at some point as well. If I am still coherent and mobile, I might decide to tutor teens in the sciences. It would be great to get back into the research lab but I think that ship sailed when I chose to teach. I could, however, volunteer at the local arboretum, animal shelter, or state fishery - as plants and animals help to calm my anxiety and create a sense of "rightness" in me.(I also would like to be a grandma by that time, but that is something I have absolutely no control over.)

         In the event that I do pass away within the next five years, I hope my family respects my wishes and has me cremated, my ashes tilled into the ground at the old homestead, and a tree planted amongst those ashes. In which case, my remains will lie where my soul feels at home.

         Regardless of which way the pendulum swings on my life, however, I predict my soul will continue to be content. I will be where the Lord wants me to be.