Complex Numbers

I Will Get My Revenge

Today in New Stuff We Just Made Up For Attention

‘Revenge Bedtime Procrastination’ Is Real, According to Psychologists  
You know that thing where you stubbornly stay up late for no reason because you feel like you didn't get any time to yourself? Here's how to stop.

Okay, so not "today," but way back in January. Whatever. "Revenge Bedtime Procrastination" is a goddamn stupid name for this phenomenon and nothing is going to change my mind about that.

It’s late and you’re exhausted. You barely had time to eat dinner and shower after work. Maybe you watched a few episodes of a show, read a chapter of your book, struggled through your skin-care routine. Now you’re in bed, and you know you should sleep.

People have time to watch a show AND read a book? And what's a skin-care routine?

But you keep scrolling—past the point that feels good. Your eyes start to close and you have to be up at 5 a.m. for work, but you’re not ready for rest. Some part of you is unsatisfied.

This activity has a name: bedtime revenge procrastination.

But it was called "revenge bedtime procrastination" in the headline. Either way, it's a goddamn stupid name.

It’s deeply validating to learn that this habit has a name, and that you are not alone in doing it.

Oh, wonderful, you've achieved validation. How nice.

“Where people will refuse to sleep because they don’t have much control over their daytime life, so they will sleep very late at night, even if they’re super tired, because they just don’t want that free time to end at night, and they don’t want tomorrow to start?”

I just figured this was Toddler Mode. You know, you're a kid and your mom says "Go to bed," and you cross your arms, stamp your foot and go "NO! Don' wanna!"

“There's lots of research showing that feeling like you have a bit of free time is super important for well-being,” she says. But at the same time, “many of the problems that drive revenge sleep procrastination—feeling depressed, being too burned out to enjoy your day, and so on—can be helped by simply getting more sleep,” she adds.

Oh. That's very helpful. The problem is you don't want to sleep and it can be alleviated by getting more sleep. Did someone take out student loans to be able to say that? Also, now it's a third formulation of the phrase. I get that it's a translation from Mandarin (says so near the top of the article.) Still, you'd thing English speakers would do their usual shoehorning of a phrase into an acronym.

You can also do more to optimize the time you do spend on your nighttime “revenge,” she says.

I think at least part of the problem is too much optimization. How about... stop optimizing everything?

“Often, when we get free time, we flop down and watch TV or scroll through social media. These leisure activities don't really give us the well-being bump we assume.”

Have you tried drinking or smoking weed?

So, okay, I will agree that this is a Real Thing -- I did it some when I was overloaded with work -- but I also maintain that the name of it is the stupidest fucking thing I've seen in a long time. So...

Merit Badge Mini-Contest!

Can you come up with a better name for this phenomenon? It can be serious or funny. It can turn word salad into an acronym if you want, or it doesn't have to; whatever you think it should be called. I have to admit I'm at a loss, myself, but I just can't keep that stupid name for it in my head. The one I like best will get its attractive and creative author a Merit Badge tomorrow. Deadline as always is midnight tonight, Saturday, October 2, WDC time. But if you can't think of one, feel free to comment anyway (even if you disagree that it's a stupid name).