Infirmary Rhymes

Mary Is Not A Little Lamb!

Mary is an evil vamp,
her heart is black as coal.

But every man that Mary meets,
her virtues he'll extol.

She always plays the lamb, you see,
to hide her heinous plan.

She smiles and flirts most charmingly
and sweetly takes his hand.

Warm crumpets laced with cyanide
or arsenic in the tea.

She's contemplating homicide
while serving daintily.

Six husbands gone in seven years,
the merry widow weeps.

With glee behind her veil of tears
where darkness never sleeps.

author's note ▼

A dark parody of Mary Had a Little Lamb - by Sarah Josepha Hale