Monkey Business

The Madness Continues

3. A bad-tempered customer is driving home after a few drinks at the bar. He thinks he sees his kids trick-or-treating and stops to offer them some coins—but those aren’t costumes.

         The Halloween hijinks continue at the Banana Bar. Last night we had to kick out an unruly, angry customer who was behaving as if he had already had too much to drink. He said he had a ride home. Little did we know he was referring to his own car. But we didn't know that until we saw today's paper. The front page of the paper had a photo of a gruesome wreck caused by a man running into the side of of a house on Main Street. The following was the man's response when interviewed by both the police and the paper:

Man: "I left the Banana Bar at a quarter till 9 after they asked me to leave because they thought I was drunk. I wasn't though, I had only had four drinks in the hour and a half I was there. I was just having a really bad day. I'll admit I was pretty pissed off at the world by that point."

Interviewer: "So what happened then?"

Man: "Well, as I was saying, I was driving home when I saw some trick-or-treaters walking down the sidewalk. They were about the size of my kids and dressed like the kids wanted to this year, figured they were my two, so I thought I'd stop and give them some money to get sodas on the way home. But when I pulled up close to them I realized they weren't my kids. Heck it's not even Halloween yet! The pair turned to look at me and I saw they were the real deal, man! Two little goblins were walking down the street. In my neighborhood! I tried to speed off but I don't know what happened after that. I thought I was getting away from and everything would be alright. But then I woke up - and my car was halfway through that big three-story at the end of the road. Craziest shit that's ever happened to me man! You know what I mean?!"

Interviewer: "Do you think someone at the bar put something into your drink to cause these hallucinations?"

Man: "Ah, no. They never would have had the chance. I watched the bartender dude the whole time he made my drinks and after that, the glasses didn't leave my sight until they were empty."

Interviewer: "So what do you think really happened?"

Man: "Honestly, I think I pissed off the wrong witch. You do know they have more power this time of year don't you? I guess from now on, I should just keep my bad moods to myself."

The paper went on to say that the man in question was admitted to the local psychiatric hospital for further evaluation. But you know what I think? I think it all happened. Maybe not exactly as he told it, but pretty close! I've seen some of the craziness that happens around here this time of year!

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