The Definition of Insanity

4 AM Thoughts

January 18, 2022

It is 4 AM right now. I was just woken up by my brother screaming “I’ll fckin kill you!” to my mom. He’s 19. He hasn’t become violent yet while I’ve been home, but it seems like it’s only a matter of time. Why is peace always something we’re never allowed? Apparently, what set him off this time is that he hadn’t been sleeping well that past few days and he’s had problems online, so it’s all accumulated into that. I don’t know why he yelled it. I hate it. It was going so well and now I’m scared to go back to sleep. The worse thing is that there is nothing anyone can do. We can’t send him to the streets, and a mental hospital won’t take him more then a few days (I think, it’s what my mom thinks will happen) because he’s legally an adult. An apartment is out of the question too. My mom doesn’t think my dad will pay for one which he would need to. She won’t ask though. I’m so tired. I’ve never quite hated someone as much as I hate my brother. My mother has deserved nothing of what he’s put her through for the past 7 years and yet he still continues to act like everything is either her or someone else’s fault. Anyone’s but his own. When do we get to feel safe?