Soundtrack of My Life

"Jackie and Wilson" by Hozier

I missed yesterday's entry, so this is entry number 18.

"Jackie and Wilson" by Hozier

So tired trying to see from behind the red in my eyes
No better version of me I could pretend to be tonight
So deep in the swirl with the most familiar of swine
For reasons wretched and divine

She blows out of nowhere, roman candle of the wild
Laughing away through my feeble disguise
No other version of me I would rather to be tonight
Lord, she found me just in time

'Cause with my mid-youth crisis all said and done
I need to be youthfully felt, 'cause God I never felt young

She's gonna save me, call me baby
Run her hands through my hair
She'll know me crazy, soothe me daily
Better yet, she wouldn't care
We'll steal her Lexus, be detectives
Ride round picking up clues
We'll name our children Jackie and Wilson
Raise them on rhythm and blues

Lord, it'd be great to find a place we could escape sometime
Me and my Isis, growing black irises in the sunshine
Every version of me dead and buried in the yard outside
Sit back and watch the world go by

Happy to lie back, watch it burn and rust
We tried the world, good God, it wasn't for us

She's gonna save me, call me baby
Run her hands through my hair
She'll know me crazy, soothe me daily
Better yet, she wouldn't care
We'll steal her Lexus, be detectives
Ride round picking up clues
We'll name our children Jackie and Wilson
Raise them on rhythm and blues

Cut clean from the dream at night, let my mind reset
Looking up from a cigarette, and she's already left
I start digging up the yard for what's left of me and our little vignette
For whatever poor soul is coming next

She's gonna save me, call me baby
Run her hands through my hair
She'll know me crazy, soothe me daily
Better yet, she wouldn't care
We'll steal her Lexus, be detectives
Ride round picking up clues
We'll name our children Jackie and Wilson
Raise them on rhythm and blues

The title of this song is a nod to R&B singer Jackie Wilson. Apparently, Hozier is a big fan of his. "We'll name our children Jackie and Wilson / Raise them on rhythm and blues". The song itself isn't one of Hozier's most popular, but I really like it.

The lyrics paint a picture of someone who throws themself all in to their relationships. It's just him and this woman against the world, and she's going to save him (from himself). And as soon as she leaves him, he's already thinking about "whatever poor soul is coming next" to save him. It doesn't seem like it took him long at all to completely move on from this woman who was going to save him, who knows everything about him and saw through his disguises, who he wants to have children with. Come to think of it, this could be describing an entirely imagined potential relationship with a random woman seen in a bar, not an actual reciprocal relationship. That would make more sense.

If this is meant to be about himself, then this is an impressive level of self awareness. If it's not, then this is an impressive level of empathy to be able to put yourself in another's shoes like this. Given his other songs, like "Take me to Church", he is obviously quite capable of creating a very strong and convincing narrative that's not about himself.

Hozier's lyrics are always deep and layered, and this song is no exception. He has clear references to the ancient Egyptian myth of Isis and Osiris here. Osiris was killed and cut into tiny pieces which his wife Isis, in her grief, scours the entirety of Egypt to collect, put back together, and resurrect him. Clearly, in this metaphor, the narrator is Osiris and he's looking for his Isis to put him back together. His pieces, different versions of himself, are "dead and buried in the yard outside". The same metaphor works its way into a lot of the other lyrics too, like when he says "ride 'round picking up clues". He's relying on her to find himself and make himself "whole". Interestingly, black irises are one of the rarest flowers in the world, thus they often represent the authentic and real. It seems that's what this narrator is really searching for, but is unable to find.

Also, one of my favorite lines of all time: "We tried the world, good God, it wasn't for us."
I feel that, Hozier. I feel that.

Anni