Swizzle Stick

How to Herd Cats

April 14 — How-to poem — Write a poem that gives us “instructions” on how to do something amazing, unlikely, impossible, or unusual…Let the title be explicitly “how to” ish. Examples: How to Get Under My Skin, How to Bury Yourself, How to Bring About World Peace (on $10 or Less), etc.



Begin by determining how many cats
constitute a herd. Consider too

if "herd" is appropriate for cats,
who are not herding animals.

They have, seemingly, herd immunity.
Contemplate high potential for failure.

Find compliant cats & group them
into a herd, using flashcards

& electroshock therapy.
Their cat mentality

will fight you, maybe smite
you. Persevere if you must

or, just make a pot of tea
& consider instead herding deer.

Let cats clowder, purr
& sleep sixteen hours in the sun.