Monkey Business

Lost and Never Found

A Day Late, but...Mystery Guest Prompter
Prompt: Write about something you lost that you’ll never get back.

Memory. You see, I have epilepsy and every seizure I have steals more and more of my memory. Some of these memories are short term and don't really matter in the grand scheme of things, but through the years I have seen a significant loss of memory and cognitive ability. I've lost memories of dearly departed loved ones, much of the education from college for all three of my degrees has been lost as well. This loss is the reason I no longer am able to teach, no longer able to program. I've mostly gotten over the embarrassment of forgetting what I am saying mid-sentence and forgetting someone's name is so commonplace that I make light of it, telling people up front that I won't remember them. I'm not being rude, just realistic. What still bugs me though, is the loss of the happy memories of my youth and the loss of many of the memories I made with my husband and my daughters as they grew from babies to young women. I know I'll never get those memories back and when someone shares their memories of those experiences with me, they are like looking at photographs rather than true memories that I could see in my mind and experience with my other senses. Maybe one day, I will lose the knowledge that I am losing my memory. Maybe that day, I will no longer have any regrets.