Sandy Supposes....

Good Grief Don't Second-Guess Me

Bard's Hall # 8

         Am I the only one who dislikes the program, or whatever it is that attempts to guess what word I'd like to type? You know autocorrect, or is it predictive text? Who was the genius that unleashed this on the world? I know the words I wish to use to express myself and I do not need a computer program second-guessing me. Why would an unseen force compelled by computer code replace my text with random gibberish and then think I'd accept it? No, this is not okay. I've learned to turn off this offensive option to save myself editing grief. Do not put words in my mouth at my finger tips.

         Predictive, sure... There are so many possible words in the English language and many share the initial letters. Texting I am excited could be twisted to I am excellent, or I am expelled or, I am expired or I am experienced. They all have quite different meanings.

         What is the writer's intention? Jack is bored. Jack is borrowed. Jack is borderline. Clear as mud, right?

         I will admit that the substitution of words is often humorous. In an online discussion about mice-repellent methods someone posted street wool and the other contributors carried on accepting the intent had been to suggest stuffing holes with steel wool. I'm not adverse to the idea of street wool. Most Canadian citizens own and wear some form of wool garments when they're strolling on our streets in the chilly winter. I fail to see though how toques, scarves and mitts will deter a mouse invasion. Take that you vermin! Just try and chew your way through our street wool.

          Recently citizens were sharing their disparate views re the trucker occupation in Ottawa. One person waded into the fray and expressed the following. Protestors ride on the fridge of the left. Imagine an irate, flag-waving mob swooping in to our country's capital city astride bucking, snorting, ill-tempered fridges. Silly? I believe the intended word had to be fringe. There is a marked difference, n'est-ce pas?

          I cannot fathom ordering a seizure salad, but a diner raved about one. Yes waitress, please bring me the starter that causes uncontrollable tremors. I do love a good seizure. The caesar salad is so passe.

         I do accept that texters/ posters occasionally create typos. The letter keys sit in close proximity and fingers often act with a stubborn mind of their own. We know what we intended to type and presume our digits did as we expected them to do. I myself seem to strike the o when I really wish to utilize an i. Sometimes an l sneaks in to subvert a p, or a k. I'm in the habit of proof-reading with due diligence, not due dipilence.

         Finally, I must mention this unfortunate public post left to bewilder us all."The shit's the balm." Ewww! Say it isn't so! A balm is a salve, something intended to be soothing, healing, restorative as in lip balm. Would anyone agree that sh*t is any of these things? Yes, yes, of course the sender meant to express themselves with the word bomb. Right? Didn't they? Or does the poster believe that an explosive device is spelled the same as a cosmetic/health product?

         English already has a reputation for being difficult, puzzling, nonsensical, frustrating, confusing. Predictive text and autocorrect do little to clear the water.