Wonderland, Going Down The Rabbit Hole

C The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill c. 1

Prompt: The Housemaid- In a strange turn of events, your pet has mistaken you for the help. Describe a typical day when it's in charge.

I woke up like I always do. My cat Bella comes in the room and I say Hello to her. She tells me to get up and get breakfast started. She wants eggs with cheese, bacon and toast with butter and strawberry jam. Wait a minute. When did she learn to talk?

"Didn't you hear me? Fix my breakfast."

"When did you learn to talk?" I must be dreaming."

"I'm in charge around here. Fix my breakfast!"

I made eggs with cheese on them and made her toast with butter and jam. She sits at the table. I bring her a fork and she knows how to use it.

"I want you to wash up my bedding. Change my box and vacuum."

I keep thinking I will wake up. I start washing my cat's bedding. I vacuumed. Guess what? She hides. She is still afraid of the vacuum.

The box is changed.My cat tells me to use the lint roller on her to get rid of her fur and to also use the lint roller on the couch and curtains. She is the one who sheds. I do all this all the time without being told.

I turn on the TV. Bella says: "Why are you watching TV? You need to dust and make tuna for lunch. I will have my tuna plain."

"I will make your tuna, Miss Cat. I will dust but you aren't the boss. You are my cat and I am not your slave."

"Oh, yeah? It is like Bella, get off the table!, Bella, stop pawing the box! Bella, must you run around the house like that? Bella, it isn't time to eat. Bella, get off those clean clothes."

"Okay. You are my pet and I love you but pets are like kids. I had a son and I made him mind. I tell my husband to do things. I feed you and you have toys to play with. You aren't abused. I don't know what made you talk but we can have a nice talk. You don't need to bark out orders."

"I want a clean house. I see those abused cats and dogs on TV and if they could talk, they would tell those humans off."

"I agree. I would love to save those animals, Bella. I would tell those humans off and slap them upside the head."

"I guess I know that. I like a clean bed. I like to eat."

"I know you do. Don't be so bossy."

"Megan. I can call you Megan?"

"Yes, you can."

"Don't buy any more of that Codsole and salmon. I hate that crap."

"Note to self. I won't buy any more of that cat food."

"Could you move your Downton Abbey Tote Bag? I hate jumping over that bag to get my quilt I sleep on. Speaking of that quilt? Will you please wash it?"

"Yes, I will."

I moved the Downton Abbey Tote Bag and wash the quilt. Bella watches me.

I sat down to watch my soaps.

Bella asks: "Do you wish you were rich like the Newmans on this soap and had their life?"

"No. I wish I lived at Downton Abbey and had their life at times."

"You wouldn't have your computer or cell phone."

"Okay. Miss Bella. It is really Highclere Castle and I would love to live there now."

"I bet you would. The real Earl and his wife have a dog. I don't think I would like him."

"I won't ever have a dog, my Dear. I promise."

"Wash my water dish. I like the light blue water dish better. Give me that one today. I want a clean paper plate for my dry food."

"I am on it." Bossy cat.

I changed Bella's water dish. I give her a clean dry plate for her dry food

"Will you move the stuffed mule and teddy bears off the big, blue plastic tote? I need room to take a nap."

"You have a lot of blankets to lay in plus your cat bed. My stuffed animals aren't bothering you. I am putting Grumpy Cat on your quilt. You, too have a lot in common."

"Don't you dare. You are like John Arbuckle."

"You are like Garfield,"

"I am not that fat lazy cat! Hey! I want my lunch now. Tuna."

I liked her better when she was quiet. I give her tuna and take her quilt out of the dryer. Is she going to talk and be bossy forever?

I find Bella getting into my jewelry.

"What are you doing?"

"I want to pretend to be a rich cat. This fancy rhinestone Zirconia necklace will suffice. Help me put it on."

I put the necklace on Bella. She falls over. She decides it was a bad idea.

I am frying pork chops. Bella is running around chasing her milk rings. It is starting to thunder. We do need some rain. The rain is coming down pretty hard. The house shakes and everything goes dark. I pass out. I wake up. The smoke alarm goes off. The pork chops aren't burned. I take them out of the skillet and look around. Bella comes running up to me. She meows.

"Meow? You aren't talking? Bella?"

Meow. She rubs up against me.

What made Bella talk? I don't know. I give Bella some pork chop. She seems content. I sit down to watch the news.

The Newsman says:"Cats are over the world were talking today. A comet flew over and if you looked in the sky, you could see the Cheshire Cat smiling and after that, cats talked today. A storm came up and cats were back to being cats. A freakish phenomenon scientists are saying and it may never happen again.

I am okay with that. I like my cat being a cat.

998 Words