Online journal capturing the moment and the memory of moments. A meadow meditation. |
What I posted on the Newsfeed (as GC) not to offend the easily offended: I penned a 'pregunta' in response to Rhymer Reisen's red wasp, combining Express-it-in-Eight's prompt 'aflame', Beholden and Bianca's challenge for "The Writer's Cramp" . I won't enter it as I'm bitem-bound ... and lazy. A question, an answer. The pregunta (that's Spanish for 'question', 'pergunta' in Portuguese) is essential a form of a series of Q&A couplets. For me to make it poetic I would use rhythm, rhyme, alliteration, repetition... something. Rhymer's Red-bum Rising Does any old wasp set your ass aflame? Only when it's red and bears your name. So, it's okay to call you what I choose? Try it, punk, you've only one life to lose. Oh, touchy now like some wimpy snowflake! More like a blustery blizzard scrubbing your face. So about that pimple on your ass... Pop it quickly or kiss it fast. © Copyright 2022 Kåre Enga [179.74a] (27.august.2022) 8 lines; near rhyme aa,bb,cc,dd; 10/9 10/10 9/11 9/8 Earlier versions, musings: A question, an answer. The pregunta (that's Spanish for 'question', 'pergunta' in Portuguese) is essential a form of a series of couplets. For me to make it poetic I would use rhythm, rhyme, alliteration, repetition. Rhymer's Redrum Rising Does any old wasp set your ass aflame? Only when it's red and bears your name. So, it's okay to call you what I choose? Try it, punk, you've only one life to lose. Oh, touchy now like a wimpy snowflake! Like a blustery blizzard scrubbing your face. So about that pimple on your ass... Pop it quickly or kiss it fast. [74a] 10/9 10/10 9/10 9/8 Single son What did you mumble when your mother died? I mourned the woman who never knew me. And were you appalled when your father passed? Far better to go fast than linger. Now that you're an orphan how do you feel? Frankly, a weight has lifted for real. How can you be so brutally blunt? Bare was my back without brother. [74b] 10/10-mn 10/9-fp 10/9-fr 9/8-bw All these alliterations are also closely related linguistically. Another approach would be alternating tone/accent/stress like Tang Dynasty poetry did with tone patterns. I'll need to work on a better example. Untitled [73] How can you manage this death without me? You never were there when I was alive! 10 x..x..x.x. 10 .x..x.x..x But now you're set free like a butterfly. More like a puppy wounded and limping. 10 .x..x..x.. 10 x..x.x..x. [73c] © Copyright 2022 Kåre Enga [179.74] (26.august.2022) |