Porthole

26th weak...

18 septembre ... Montana

44 degrees at 8 am. but hazy. 46 AQI.

Today is Wash-day. We'll see what gets done.

Her-a-cane Fiona: landfalling as the high towers circle around each other like Hulk in a wrestling match or a two rooks in game of chess, the pawns in the middle windblown and wet. Who will wipe away the tears of Ponce? The Mona Passage keeps its wisdom close to itself while Hispaniola holds its breath ready to blow Fiona north, hoping for a mere scrape of a breeze, some showers.

I did my wash. Met a 'hunk' from Butte. Very personable. Drank Dr. Pepper as a treat. Harvested (gleaned) three marigold flowers to dry as an herb for cooking. Now home with a pork sandwich. Shirts, linens, underwear hung up to dry.

South + = stormy. Smells fresher than before.

17 septembre ... Montana

47 degrees and 39 AQI at 9:30. Time for farmer's market.

They had honeydew! Bought white peaches. Ate my cherry pastry on way to Butterfly Herbs.

I should've brought my notebook.

It's a bright breathable morning. I should be energized. I'm not yet.

ViceVersa episode 10 came out this morning, around 8 am. MDT. Today's color is pink. Last week it was midnight black.

Need coffee = drinking coffee. Last night I was 'fog' eating. Just kept eating... now, after one cherry pastry am I experiencing a sugar low? I dunno. Finish up, go home?

Said hello to Irina. Picked up buttercup squash from Johnsons. Interesting conversation with Holly, a protestor outside of market. Sat with Becky by her Tesla.

At home... a tuna with mayo and terragon sandwich. Still binge eating.

Found an unused red notebook I can use for autumn's journal. If I'm smart... I'll buy another with collegiate spacing. But... I have a notebook as a backup.

Moved old journals and put them where they're supposed to be! This sorting is taking forever. I came across a bunch of maps, brochures, postcards from Taiwan. I could sit and use each one as a talisman and see what's spews forth.

What should I call my upcoming travels? "Final Global Tour" sounds a bit overdone. But... it could very well be Sayonara... a long final gasp lasting 2-5 years.

I try to be present but I find no joy in the present.

16 septembre ... Montana

56 AQI and 52 degrees. Summer is over but at last I can breathe.

Very dry mouth this morning. Hmm...

Went to market for eggs and oil. Bought eggs $3.49/dozen and a big bottle of cheap oil that won't go bad on me. I prefer olive oil but...

Sat with Laxmi, Kathi, Monte, Phil, Dalton. Chatted with Myrtle. Stuffed pork... not great; but, dal was very good.

62 degrees at 2:30 and 65 AQI. We had rain. I saw puddles!

I'm hungry. Just had raisin bran... still hungry. I'm flummoxed. Ate hummus on crackers. Lots of hummus, lots of crackers.

68° and 55 AQI at 6-ish. I'm enjoying this break. For most of a month it's either been heat or smoke. I really wanted to escape but felt trapped. I should stick to plans and leave anyway.

To Starling re spelling and grammar critiques: "I tell English Lit majors that they critique literature while I create it. This attitude regarding proper language is still colonial in the sense that some groups are favored over others. James Joyce and Emily Dickinson were treated unkindly by people of their day, as was most any person-of-color. Those attitudes still hold sway in certain corners of Academia... but it's quite American to mock and put down others for something that isn't important, like the dress they wear or how they color their hair, even how they speak or express themselves. I would like to think that it's only young newbies who are uneducated or ignorant... but, alack, I'm your age and sadly it's common. "

AQI of 43 at 8! I will be able to sleep better.

If Jodi only knew...

15 septembre ... Montana

I took a damp cut-up sock and caressed the leaflets of the scheffleria. Not many, but it'll look better and breathe better (hopefully, the top layer is waxy). If I were to do a bit every day?

Not likely. I am still going through boxes most every day. Little progess and no end in sight.

I had a random thought about Peru. I visited there in 1974. Odd how stray memories bubbled up this morning. Arequipa, guarded by snow-capped Misti and the earthern bowls used for bathing in the monastery. Looking down at the soft green and greys of Macchu Picchu from the heights of Huayna Picchu. Pizarro's flesh rotting in a glass casket in Lima. One flash of seeing a man pee against a tree in the middle of Avenida Brasil... manjar blanco, inca cola, the stench of Cusco. If I let my thoughts wander what other images would rise from the recesses of my mind?

Speaking of pee. 24 ounces overnight. I weigh less? Perhaps I'm properly hydrated and can drink less in the evenings?

Time for coffee.

It's a cool 50 degrees at 9ish, with an AQI of 134. Weak sun.

Sat with Angie and Billie Jo. Shared cantaloupe.

Ate porridge with butter and sugar; ate porridge with blackberry sause; ate porridge in tuna-mushroom soup. Still have some left.

AQI still unhealthy at 130.

Links:

Montana, Trans sports rights: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/montana-judge-rules-transgender-sports-rule-un...
Montana, Trans rights: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/montana-ban-on-changing-gender-on-birth-certif...
Montana still denying Trans-rights: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/gop-run-state-vows-to-ignore-judges-orde...
Buffalo, racism: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/loved-ones-of-buffalo-massacre-victims-speak-o...
Thailand, volunteering: https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/how-to-retire-in-thailands-%e2%80%9crose-o...
Taiwan, wai/ben-shengren: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/opinion-i-am-part-of-a-dying-breed-of-taiwa...
QueerRights, Iowa: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/iowa-town-s-library-closes-after-almost-all-st...
QueerRight, POC: https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/relationships/its-infuriating-how-fly-by-nig...
Baha'i, Iran: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/iran-steps-up-bahai-persecution-with-wave-o...
Ex-pats, Mexico: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/column-the-new-generation-of-smug-american-...
Inner Child: https://www.facebook.com/stacylm/posts/pfbid02dkFSK2WrFm3nfMYwXCBe6gZK5YRpQZ48WN...
HSP: https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/wellness/are-you-truly-an-introvert%e2%80%a6-or...
Color: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-colors-mean-in-other_b_9078674
Saturn: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/technology/an-old-moon-of-saturn-might-have-put-a...
Screed on Christianity: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/christianity-are-your-religious-beliefs-sim...

AQI falling... now 81 which is okay. But... it's 8 pm. and I seldom shop at this hour. Do I dare hope for rain? It's 61 degrees and sprinkles are in the forecast but last time it barely wet the pavement.

14 septembre ... Montana

Third complexity badge...

Complexity

49 degrees at 8:20. 167 AQI. Very depressing. Sun peeking out at 11:15 but 54 degrees and 169 AQI. 67 degrees and haze at 3.

Another tooth fell out. No pain, no nothing.

Coffee... isn't giving me energy nor helping with depression.

Ate with Robin and Kathy at God's Waiting Room. Goulash. Now having a peach at home. Dylan borrowed my coffee grinder... such a soft knock.

I'm grieving. It's been a rough year. And unless you've been reading my blog you don't know.

I'm 'on hiatus' because I'm withdrawn. If no one wants to connect with me why bother?

Smoke isn't helping.

13 septembre ... Montana

Suzanne's birthday today.

STATIC

Bare branches [#29 Suzanne]   (13+) Glimpsed through naked branches the memory of you in Springtime wavers. May in the year... #1919429 by Kåre เลียม Enga

I posted the above and got some response... and a purty yellow ribbon.

58 degrees at 8:43 and 172 AQI. The skies are deathly white but there's some hope for rain. did rain! A few drops enough to wet the pavement but the skies are still ashy-white. Still 58 at 1 pm. Heat's gone. Summer may be over. AQI is 180? We need more rain.

The cake... turned out more like a fudgy brownie. Very tasty. Gave a slice to Billie Jo. She gave me some rice and roast beast.

I'm stymied and stuck.

To JamesTaylor at YCC: "I suspect that some folks don't understand what you are saying. I'm all for the defeat of Putin... and no acquiescing and no appeasement... but... how to best get there is the challenge. US defeat of Japan is a good example of a successful resolution. Provoking China and the subsequent mess in Korea is just the opposite. WW1 lead to horrible consequences in Central Europe. WW2? Better. I'm not bloodthirsty. Neither are many Russians."

58 at 7-ish. Never warmed up to 70. AQI of 187 is brutal. It's been bad all day. Never went out. 52 at 11:30. but... AQI 191? Not so cool.

Ate some white corn, yellow peach, chocolate cake... a bit late for coffee... oh well.

12 septembre ... Montana

I dreamt that I wasn't who I am. I had a group of friends (like I would if I grew up in Thailand) and I was at 'school', maybe a boarding school (that spoke English). My 4 groupies (that I didn't recognize) came to rescue me because I'd broken the rules. Truly, all I wanted to do was sleep. Must've been a waking dream because I don't remember dreams like others do. I daydream and if I don't write them down there disappear. Although nightmarish in a way I was more angry and curious than frightened. It wasn't a normal recurring nightmare. I don't know what year it was. I suspect I was out of time and place. I should be thankful for friends?

Maybe brought on by the choke-smoke? IRL: 166 AQI and 48 degrees at 8. Not a great start to the day. = more like a wall of white or a ceiling of death.

Complexity

There's an ominous orange glow in my room. When the sky turns to ash and the sun glows like an ember...

On the internet: As the country remembers and honors those victims, the U.K. prepares to lay Queen Elizabeth II to rest. In light of both events, her words she penned in a letter to the American people in 2001 becomes even more touching today: “Grief is the price we pay for love.”

Sat alone, but Monte, Kathi, Dalton and Laxmi joined me. I went because: it was close and I had to take out the trash. Meal was fine. I liked the broiled vegetables: b-sprouts, onion, carrot, potato.

Bought sourdough baguette and hummus. Bernice's now has indoor seating and open till 6. Le Petit is only open till 4. It used to be 8 and 6.

Sun has broken through the pall so it has warmed up to 77 at 3 pm. AQI still dangerous at 171. The Senior center is only 2 blocks away down the alley and Le Petit and Bernice's Bakery are on the way back on Myrtle Street.

If I had to choose one memory to take with me through eternity? Hard to choose. I tend towards the bittersweet.

To Kim re "Dancing in the Earthlight": "Thank you for reading and reviewing. And thanks for noting the spare descriptions. Personally, I try not to go overboard with describing how people look as I think their personalities are more important. Here, the narrator is clearly manic and not bound by rules whereas the companion isn't as clear other than a joyful red on red... and the cultural repercussions. I don't write Regency or Gothic Romance so I'm more keen on allowing the reader to use their imagination to visually connect the dots."

68 degrees going on 9 pm... so heat isn't an issue; never got as warm as predicted. AQI of 171 = bad, very bad. Monte and Michael both mentioned the AirQualityIndex today. People are aware... which is good.

Cooked up a pound of goat meat. Added onions, rosemary and curry (garlic, ginger, cumin, pepper...) and glazed some with blackberry sauce. Quite lean. Didn't shrink much. Tasty. No complaint from me.

No oil, no eggs? Substituted mayo and butter. Dark-Chocolate cake with lavender and coffee.

Fact: I moved into the room next door on September 12th, 2008. It's been 14 years.

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