Complex Numbers

Yeah. Right. Sure.

Call me skeptical.

Air Force claims ‘no intent by the pilots’ to draw sky penis near Russian base in Syria  

Sometimes miracles happen.

And sometimes, we make miracles happen.

The leadership for U.S. Air Forces in Europe has determined that a KC-135 aerial tanker did not mean to fly in a phallic flight pattern near a Russian base in Syria recently...

You'll have to visit the link to see the actual recorded flight path. Or you could take my word for it that it does, indeed, create the general shape of a dong, complete with balls.

While these adjustments and movements appear to create a vulgar outline, there was no intent by the pilots or the unit to do so.

Sure. I believe that. I also believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and honest politicians.

As we continue to look into this, USAFE-AFAFRICA, AMC [Air Mobility Command] and the USAF will continue to maintain the highest standards of professionalism and airmanship.

...even if we have to lie through our collective teeth to do it.

Earlier this week, the aircraft took off from Chania International Airport and flew east of Cyprus. FlightRadar24, a flight tracking service, shows that the KC-135’s flight path included an oval and two circles, prompting the Italian newspaper la Repubblica to speculate that the plane had drawn a sky penis in front of Russia’s naval base in Tartus, Syria.

Now, keep in mind that schlong drawings are nothing new in Italy (and elsewhere). People have been scrawling schlubs on walls for as long as there have been walls. Here's one   on the Roman Coliseum. The ancient Romans could only dream of being in flying machines that can trace the outlines of a gigantic knob in the sky.

That said, it's not really that close to Syria, is it? It's way out in the Mediterranean, closer to Cyprus, like it's about to stick itself into Turkey. The article acknowledges this:

But Cyprus is roughly 163 miles from Tartus, and while it’s unclear how close the KC-135 was to the Russian base, the aircraft was never in Syrian airspace, an Air Force official said.

However:

While U.S. officials say that the KC-135’s aircrew did not mean to fly in a pattern that resembled the male anatomy, there have been previous incidents in which American pilots intentionally drew large penises in the sky.

Two Navy aviators were administratively disciplined in 2017 for using the contrails of their aircraft to create a large penis-shaped pattern over Washington state, and two Marine aviators were grounded the following year for their aerial rendering of the male sex organ.

It makes me feel all kinds of secure that our pilots, across military disciplines, have the sense of humor of a middle-schooler. Eventually, the Space Force will draw one over the Moon, you watch.

Moreover, in October 2019 U.S. troops left penis drawings for the Russians to find when they moved out of their base in northeastern Syria.

Okay, that's legitimately hilarious.

For reasons that remain not fully understood, phallus imagery has become an integral part of the American warfighter’s psyche.

"Not fully understood," my fat white ass.

“The core of a military identity is tied into this warrior ethos of being strong and tough,” Ramon Hinojosa, a sociology professor at the University of Central Florida, told Task & Purpose in 2018. “This notion that being tough and strong and having a sexual prowess is just a core part of what we as Americans see masculinities are. That translates across institutions, at least as far as the military is concerned, into strong, tough, heterosexuality. Of course, the depiction of a penis just sort of boils that right down to the essence of the masculine norm.”

You want "strong and tough?" That would be the other sex organ. How "pussy" ever became an insult meaning "soft and weak" is what's "not fully understood." Those things are tough, or so I've heard. (I so badly wanted to phrase that "those things can take a licking," but I would never stoop so low.)

They might be a bit harder to draw in the sky, though, I'll grant that.