The Whatever Files

Foulmouths Old Bores Almanac

An essential purchase since 1932

FOULMOUTHS

OLD BORE'S ALMANAC

Including NICE and UNVERIFIABLE PREDICTIONS

Our PREDICTIONS are shockingly accurate. We have predicted the date of Christmas Day correctly, YEARLY, since 1954.

(IN) ACCURATE PLANTING TIMES

AND

COMPLETE TIDE TABLES

That are more or less GUARANTEED to be ACCURATE
for somewhere or other.

INSIDE: SHOCKING REVELATIONS REVEALED!

Horrorscopes

If YOU are born under the sign of the TEASPOON, then now would be a good time to buy a copy of Graceland by PAUL SIMON

If YOU are born under the sign of 'THE KING'S HEAD', then mine's a pint.

WHATEVER sign YOU were born under, TODAY is a GOOD DAY to enter:

The Whatever Contest


PLANTING

The full moon on Monday suggests a connection to a Barbarella Villain.

NOW would be a GOOD TIME to plant the seeds of APPRECIATION in someone, to encourage feelings of PERSONAL WELL BEING and SATISFACTION

A good way to achieve this would be to enter the Whatever Contest.