The Whatever Files

The Fool

The meeting took place in a disused office in a mothballed block of offices built speculatively and never used.

Several tables had been pushed together, and around them sat a small selection of the Great and Good of the WDC. Amongst many others, there were dennis23468, Waltz Invictus , rupali, 🐕GeminiGem🎁 , Richard ~ Merry, Merry , CHRISTMAS cub-BELLS R RINGING! , Nobody’s Home , Santeven Quokklaus , and Rhymer Reisen . They all looked at one another, wondering who had called them here, and what it was all about.

Around the edges of the room lounged or bounced, an assortment of Penguins, Ninja Monkeys and Navy Based Racoons, though it was unclear as to who exactly they might be minioning for.

At one end of the table, a television was placed. It came on, and Schnujo's NOT Doing NaNoWriMo gazed out at them.

"It's okay," she said, "I've put all the Gift Points in a Group Bank. They're quite safe."

Everyone exchanged glances. (Fortunately none of them were cracked).

Richard ~ Merry, Merry , who was looking as puzzled as everyone else, asked,

"Why did you feel the need to do that Jody?"

"It's one secure location, far from the jurisdiction of the new DA."

Everyone exchanged puzzled glances. Despite being puzzled, none of them were cracked either.

"Rest assured said Schnujo's NOT Doing NaNoWriMo , your Gift Points are safe."

From the back of the room there came the sound of laughter. Strange cracked laughter, entirely without humour. It seemed to fill the room.

A man dressed in a long coat, of green and red, and wearing a tri-cap with bells stepped forwards.

"The Fool." Said Nobody’s Home , "Didn't you run a Giveway back in April?"

With a theatrical bow the Fool explaimed. "The same."

He took a pencil and started to twirl it in his fingers.

"Anyone want to see me make this pencil disappear?" He asked.

Everyone exchanged (intact) looks. Nobody wanted to tell him that they didn't really want to see a pencil disappear.

Ignoring the complete lack of response, The Fool took the pencil between finger and thumb, and tossed it behind him, saying, "Aaaand It's gone." He waved his gloved hands about as if to emphasise they were empty.

This was followed by a burst of foolish giggling.

FORUM

The Whatever Contest -- Closed for Now  (13+) This irregular contest will change each round. Nature poem? Horror story? Whatever. #2232242 by Schnujo's NOT Doing NaNoWriMo

"So," said The Fool, "You're wondering why you're all here today yes?"

"It's probably to advertise "The Whatever Contest -- Closed for Now" ." said CHRISTMAS cub-BELLS R RINGING! perceptively. There was a brief exchange of nods of agreement.

"Not exactly." Lied The Fool. "We're all here because something needs to be done about, the Ad man. You know the one who's trying to take over the newsfeed. Apparently one note isn't enough any more, now he needs two. Where's it going to end? He has delusions of Grandstand."

"You mean, he imagines he's watching some major sporting event?" Asked Schnujo's NOT Doing NaNoWriMo from the screen.

"Correct. Give that lady a Merit Badge." Shouted The Fool.

"So what we need to do is to get rid of the Ad man."

"If it were that easy, why haven't you done it?" Asked Rhymer Reisen . He'd seen the movie and knew this was the line.

"Because his darned posts make me laugh, despite what Auntie Write-Write claims."

"This is getting way too silly." dennis23468 said with complete accuracy. "I say we get rid of this Fool."

The Fool opened his jacket to reveal a lot of strung together orange fruit.

"Are... Are those Kumquats?" Said Waltz Invictus

"Mmhmm! So you all better back off while I finish this off.

If you haven't entered The Whatever Contest"

"Knew it!" Shouted CHRISTMAS cub-BELLS R RINGING! .

"Then why ever not? 15K GP's for a merit badge that costs 10K. Free merit badges. The chance to win prizes. The chance to tell your great grandchildren, 'I took part!' Well okay maybe not that last one so much."

With that The Fool backed away, still holding on to his piece of string, kicking open the door behind him, he vanished.

FORUM

The Whatever Contest -- Closed for Now  (13+) This irregular contest will change each round. Nature poem? Horror story? Whatever. #2232242 by Schnujo's NOT Doing NaNoWriMo

With the coat already discarded, The Fool dropped the tri-hat in the trash can. His skipping, capering walk straightened into a firm confident stride. He became once more, the Mime with no Name. Naturally after a short distance he walked into an invisible pane of glass, but this need not concern us.