Porthole

43rd week of Year 179.

15. มกราคม

I respond to Annette's critique of my story found in "Sound of one hand clasping (Folder)" : "This was a wonderful challenge.

Now I can revise! And clear up any confusion if necessary, add popnotes and foot notes as needed as not everyone knows this culture, climate and landscape (it ain't no Hollywood western). Although I tried to use lots of concrete images, even those need footnotes (some things here have specific meanings that outsiders wouldn't 'get'). It has enough images that it could be illustrated... and that might help as well.

I didn't want any dialogue... that Sato-san can hear the One's voice in his head is key. That she (the neighbor, the One) need not speak adds to the supernatural aspect of it.

Lim: maybe just a programmer... maybe part android, maybe not. Pond: the foil (and the glue). Sato-san observes but maybe he's more than that (not android), perhaps an 'angel' that reports to the One... who just happens to be a neighbor (or is temporary in her body).

I need to revise. Because this is place outside of America I'll have footnotes. Like the colors... today (Sunday is red; Monday is yellow; Tuesday is pink). This entire story takes place in 24 hours or less.

Basically: Pond (who is Lao and Buddhist) loves Lim (who is Eurasian Malay and Muslim), but Lim is hesitant and uncomfortable being open about the relationship. Sato-san (Japanese) is quiet, an observer, sees-all-says-nothing. The One is... the One (no name, no gender, no religion). The Programmer is ambiguous (a boss, someone else?)... until the end. Maybe the One is also the Programmer!

I had to start somewhere I knew and felt attached to. So I placed it in Udon Thani where I was visiting and where I now sit writing this response. Pond, Lim and Sato-san are real people who are uber-fictionalized (think of them as talismans). The place names... are real. You could visit Mill Place, have a coffee, take pictures of the butterflies and stop by the smoking gazebo on your way to visit me in Lumphini. We could return, passing 7-11 for snacks, water, milk or Pepsi and take the bridge over Posri Road and go to UD Town and all the markets next to the railroad tracks. You could take the morning train to Bangkok. It leaves at 08:20.

Sunday = red. Ponnya leaves today to sing at a temple north-east of Krungthep. If I had a place to stay I'd go. He has a lovely voice by-the-way.



14. มกราคม

I may have unwittingly eaten raw pork today (possibly Naem (Thai: แหนม). Do not want to get sick.

To Stik: My boyfriend is a religious and traditional Buddhist (not Zen). I will be expected to act properly at religious events. I will do so when I can join without having to compromise my personal or religious beliefs as Buddhism (and Buddhists... mostly) doesn't care. Atheists may find Buddhists less threatening than some religious folks.

Death... Christians (many are dogmatic) really obsess with salvation for the soul and life for the body. Since I don't believe in their salvation crap (yes, crap; it's mean, demeaning and controlling) I don't want someone praying for my soul (hands off!). And since I don't think of death as unnatural and/or evil I don't quite get that aspect either. Sure, 'pray' for healing... but that's good whether Hamlin lived or not.

I agree with Waltz... prayer helps those who pray. "It is Margaret you mourn for."

GERARD MANLEY HOPKINS

Spring and Fall

         to a young child

Márgarét, áre you gríeving
Over Goldengrove unleaving?
Leáves like the things of man, you
With your fresh thoughts care for, can you?
Ah! ás the heart grows older
It will come to such sights colder
By and by, nor spare a sigh
Though worlds of wanwood leafmeal lie;
And yet you wíll weep and know why.
Now no matter, child, the name:
Sórrow’s spríngs áre the same.
Nor mouth had, no nor mind, expressed
What heart heard of, ghost guessed:
It ís the blight man was born for,
It is Margaret you mourn for.

I'm sitting at home using my phone as a hotspot for my computer. This is going to make life so much easier!

ปัญญา is working. Two keys = two lives. We can support each other without having to be attached at the hip. ปัน sings at a temple next week. He's practicing traditional songs. He'll be gone 3-4 days. What will I do? I thought of visiting a neighboring city; but, there's an event here on the 18th at 07:30. Both may still be doable.

Orange is the color of Udon... color of the flower of Butea monosperma (Flame of the forest, Bastard Teak, Bengal kinotree, Kino tree)

Control fear lest it control you? My response to Caoimhe: "It's one of the reasons why I travel and get out of my comfort zone. Although, that doesn't apply to hot spicy food that makes me choke or crushed pineapple from a can."

13. มกราคม

Blue day = I'm wearing blue.

Eating philly-cheese-steak at Koala. Pear told me about festival on the 18th at 07:30 near where I live.

I think i have my hot-spot worked out.

Awesome onion cheese cup at Yamizaki. 38 baht.

Need blanket, shoulder bag, hat (mwak).

I'm going slow. 15:40 = the sun isn't as hot as earlier. Morning was cool due to fog. Much warmer now.

Returned home early as I'm exhausted. Towel 150฿, shoulder bag 480฿, hat 120฿. Straightened out Dtac hotspot so now I can work from home.

12. มกราคม

An orange day. I saw Gay, brought her Purple Mountain Majesty tea (rosehip/rose/purplish color); bought postcards 6 at half price, 5 free; had duplicate key made; bought food; didn't get a shoulder bag nor hat, need both, size and color matter, but now I know where to find them; got haircut by the same barber, Gung; bought a yellow rose, vase, plate. Fairly productive day.

I can use my phone as a hot spot, but I don't know which password to use... a visit to Dtac.

11. มกราคม

9 hours on the train. One child was precious (in a good way). Long trip in 3rd class, which wasn't much more uncomfortable than 2nd class. Nice chat with lady who got off in Ayutthaya.

Arrived 25 minutes late. Ponnya was waiting for me.

10. มกราคม

Oddly I wore a pink shirt for the trip. Left on a red day that blended into yellow somewhere over the Pacific.

Today... I'll do whatever... sleep?

"I return to Udon Thani tomorrow. I'm in Bangkok now after a 25 hour+ trip. Today I rest, take care of some business, see a friend.

I will send postcards when I find some!

I hope to find time to write. Probably afternoons when it's hot. Early evening is when folks eat. Ponnya works during the day. We'll see. Much depends on access to wifi."

I decided to wear deep blue today. Haven't been out yet. 30°C here; 24°C in Udon; -1°C and snowing in Montana. It may rain later today and tomorrow in Bangkok and Udon.

Pork satay with Ped. They remembered me... (old lady is fine) same at Pinto. Max was giggly shocked at my news. She has a younger boyfriend too (two years).

Bought postcards and put money on Dtac. 700 baht should last me three months (that's about $20).

9. มกราคม

3 flights 25 hours and here I am in Krungthep.