The Trials of Chris-chan after he did the unspeakable. |
It was early January, 2023, and you have been feeling lonesome for quite some time now. You just wished that you could talk to anyone, SOMEONE! But you spent another shitty Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas in jail for the second time in the row, ALL BECAUSE YOUR MOTHER WAS BRAINWASHED INTO PUTTING A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST YOU, EFFECTIVELY KEEPING YOU OUT OF YOUR OWN TEMPLE! Since you couldn't talk to your Mommy either, you ended up being disconnected from the rest of the family, ALL THANKS TO THAT BITCH AUNT HARRIET! However, you would be told that you have a visitor. You would see that it wasn't someone from your family, but someone who claimed they are from Reddit. They begin to ask you some questions. You start things off by telling the visitor that your dorky lawyer Heilberg has been sending out letters to the DANG, DIRTY TROLLS, including Kenneth, to not POST THE LETTERS ONLINE OR THEIR WILL BE LEGAL REPERCUSSIONS! He has also told you to kindly STFU and stop sending out letters to the DANG, DIRTY TROLLS! HOW DARE HE MAKE SUCH A REQUEST! He is your defense attorney, he is suppose to be defending your ass, NOT TREAT YOU LIKE A GODDAMN NANNY! The visitor would then ask about your insane weight loss! You tell the visitor that it all started last year when you were forced, AGAINST YOUR WILL, to go to Western State Hospital! He started off by lying out of his dorky ass, saying you were going home, but then when Judge Miyamoto-San told you that you would have to stay away from your Mom and house, you told him no and just as you were about to fire off a "Curse-ye-ha-me-ha!" at him, you were tasered and were sent off in an ambulance! You then tell the visitor that the commissary has been getting expensive and you weren't getting a mountain of donations like you were years ago! You also showed off your hair which is now fully gray! You stated that it got that way because it is quite stressful to stay here in the "JAIL OF FAIL!" The visitor would then ask about your eye being bruised, but you went with the old "I slipped and fell" excuse. What really happened was that the cafeteria was cooking up some really good fried chicken and vegetables that looked good and you were quite hungry! When some random big, black dude asked for a bite, you politely tell him no, which resulted in you getting your lights knocked out and your food stolen! The visitor would then ask about why you are talking so slow! You told the visitor that recently, the jail house has been pumping you up full of medicine for several months now. It started about a month before the Grand Jury was suppose to come in for trial. Once again, that dorky lawyer lied out of his ass, saying that you will be going home soon! However, after getting a restraining order from your mother, your attorney then spun his story up and tried to talk you into taking a plea deal and just going to another place to stay! Not only did that mean not going back to the Holy Temple, but not getting anymore "Soul Bonding" with your mother either! You also aren't crazy about being in a house full of "Slow-in-the-Minds" either! So you, being the mighty and proud Goddess that you are, decided to refuse the plea deal and to bring on the Grand Jury! Your attorney, after having a shit fit for about a month, pulls out the Autism card and delays the Grand Jury...by a whole damn year! That also means you are in jail for another year! You would get so agitated with him that you would scream and cuss at him until you were blue in the face! However, because Western State Hospital refuse to take you back and all the half-way homes are full, the jail house had no choice but to put you on some strong medication to make you more compliant with them, that dorky lawyer, and the courthouse in general! You also decided to unload some "Honest Content" to the visitor. As of late, the jail food has done a number on your bowels and as a result...you have gotten quite constipated! There were at times where you had to prop your ass up on the cell's sink and splash some water over your asshole just to help get the um, load out of your rear! Thankfully, you got yourself some fiber supplements that would help you out, but you would still get quite constipated from time to time. The visitor then asks about Kenneth and you told him that Kenneth is the "anti-Christ" now because he WOULD NOT ALLOW YOU TO SET UP A GOFUNDME OF ABOUT $150K TO GET THAT OLD BITCH OUT OF THE TEMPLE AND LET YOU BACK INSIDE! Eventually, the visitor leaves, but not before showing you a sketch that was done during the visitation: You would then laugh and tell the visitor that it looks like crap before heading back to your cell. Back in your jail cell, you bust out into tears again as you wish you could just go back in time and stop yourself from doing the unspeakable that caused you to lose your Holy Temple... |