Odd O'blography

Do You Have Windows?

I used to work with a quiet older guy named Gary who often sat in on our bull sessions. He laughed at the funny stories and commiserated with our tales of woe, but rarely contributed himself. One day, the topic was telemarketers. We all expressed our disgust with the broken-English scam calls that claim to come from Microsoft.

"YOUR COMPUTER HAS A VIRUS!"

Gary surprised us by chiming in, "I get rid of those guys pretty quick. I just use my most simple-minded voice and say, 'but I don't have a computer'. That stops 'em cold."

We nodded in agreement, but Gary wasn't quite done.

"Of course, it didn't work as well with the guy who wanted to sell me triple-pane vinyl windows. He swore at me and hung up when I told him, 'but my house doesn't have windows'."

It was a funny bit and Gary demonstrated his simpleton voice to make it even funnier. But what really sold it was the unexpected source. Everybody expects a gag from the class clown. The straight man can take you by surprise.