Poetry Place Collected Poems

Visit to hell

         
Sam Adams
Died one night
Woke up in a dark plain

He started walking down
A pathway that went
Towards a light
Inside a gate

He enters the gate
Sees a crowd
Waiting around

He asks
Where am I?

A red devil in a dark suit
comes over
Welcome to hell my friend

Holding a handheld computer over Sam
The Devil laughs
Hmm
Well, it appears that there is a mistake

You should be in another place
But hey you are here now
What are you going to do?
Sue Hell?

Lots of luck with that
My friend
These things happen
All the time

You are here now
And hell is where
You will remain

Welcome to hell
The demons all laugh
Like escaped banshees

Sam followed the demons
Past the proverbial sign
Abandon hope
All who enter here

Found himself
In a room
Strapped to a bed

Forced to watch
Endless re-runs
Of President Trump
Margorie Taylor Green

And MAGA hats
Drone on and on
About the Conspiracy
The deep state


He screamed
Satan popped in
Said

Welcome to hell my friend
We believe the punishment
Must fit the crime

Funny thing is
Some people in the other world
See this as their reward
To each their own

Enjoy it
While you can.


Okay. You have released the muse that resides in the creative, or artistic, side of your brain to create a slew of fantastical images and whimsical situations in a flurry of inspiration. Now it is time to put the other side of your brain to work--the analytical, critical side that will sift through all that grist and sludge to find the golden nuggets for polishing and arranging into a sparkling piece of treasure.

This can be a difficult and painful process. After all, this is your beloved brainchild we are talking about here. The first thing you must do is learn to look at your work objectively. Reviewing the work of other poets can be helpful to do this. The work of other students in this class as well as the public forum of WDC provide excellent opportunities to do this.

Break the poem down line by line, word by word, syllable by syllable. Identify the things that are working well in the poem. Locate the obvious errors in syntax, spelling, and punctuation. Look for cliches, gaudy phrasing, unclear language, weak images, and any other flaws that weaken the focus of the poem. Then go back one more time with the thought of finding any way possible to strengthen it further. Sometimes it is the words around the trouble spot that needs changing.

Workshops, writing groups, and other students or poets can help to identify these flaws. Before exposing your work to those elements, you should be ready to accept honest criticism. If you are too sensitive about your work, this may not be the right path for you. Weigh the responses and sift out the good, constructive suggestions for possible use while discarding the useless ones.

Occasionally, it may turn out that the first draft needs no revision, especially in the shorter forms, such as haiku. After five or six revisions, it may start to sound flat and lifeless. In that case, it may be useful to put it away for a time and come back later with a fresh perspective. The important thing is that it seems right and sounds natural, no matter how hard you struggled with it.

Ultimately, this is your poem, and it’s up to you to decide when it is finished. The more you read over your work and experiment with revision, the more you will gain confidence in your ability to critique your work objectively and make that final decision.


ASSIGNMENT: Make a list of your pet peeves. If you were sent to hell, what torment would you dread most? Write a poem about it using imagery, rhythm, and sound effects to SHOW us that experience.