Complex Numbers

Revisited: "Random Thoughts"

It's Throwback Sunday (maybe I should start doing these on a Thursday), and the random number generator gave me another one from 2009, mid-September: "Random Thoughts" 

Sadly, this is mostly not my work. While I'm certainly not above quoting sections from an article I link to comment on, it isn't usually my style to just copy something whole-cloth, even if it is something that was circulating widely at the time. I don't know; I may have done it more in the distant past—I don't remember, which is one reason I do these retrospectives. But I don't do it much, if at all, these days. My blog is to emphasize my thoughts, not someone else's.

The entry does start out with me:

A friend of mine just discovered the wonders of email.

Again, this was 2009. I think I first got an email account in 1994, unless you count the one the university assigned to me as a student in the eighties.

This means that she's currently forwarding every bit of glurge and misinformation on to all of her hapless friends.

I'm at a loss to remember who this was. Probably she's all over Failbook and DikDok now.

I was just about to relegate her latest recirculated bit of "wisdom" to the compost pile when I accidentally looked at it.

And laughed.

What can I say? Wade through enough shit and eventually, you'll find a penny.

Re-reading these now, I don't think they're quite as funny. I won't paste all of them again here.

I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

Probably racist, definitely classist.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

Inertia is a thing. If I'm awake, I want nothing more than to stay awake. If I'm asleep, I want nothing more than to stay asleep.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Comic Sans is the Official Sarcasm Font.

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

Wow, that one didn't age well.

Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Nor did that one.

Bad decisions make good stories

This one, however, is timeless.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

Well, that didn't happen.

While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.

Eesh.

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I have no idea what this means anymore.

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

This hasn't stopped. It needs to. Desperately.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I have a warped sense of time, but I'm pretty damn sure my current refrigerator is one I bought long before 2009. Its freezer features a lightbulb.

Well, that's enough of that. Some of the ones I didn't re-glurge-itate here are still legitimately funny, but these days, instead of being forwarded around in email, they'd all be pasted on top of an image of some sort. Because our attention spans really are SQUIRREL!