Complex Numbers

Acts of Kindness

Another prompt from "JAFBG"  [XGC] today...

Do you think that kindness is its own reward or should people be grateful for acts of generosity and kindness? What if they're not?

I find that there's a vast, yawning chasm between "should be" and "are."

Many people seem to labor under the delusion that they should be self-sufficient at all times. Which is silly; every life has its ups and downs. Any "help," therefore, generates not gratitude but resentment—resentment that while they're struggling, someone else is doing just fine; well enough, in fact, to dribble charity from their champagne glass.

They might grit their teeth into a rictus and mutter thanks, but inside, they're seething. Possibly even plotting revenge.

Not everyone is like that, of course. But enough are that, if you're feeling generous, you need to be careful. Read the room. Sometimes, the best help you can give someone is to let them sort things through themselves, kind of like in the "tough love" prompt from a few weeks ago.

On the other side, though, performing an act of generosity or kindness should, by definition, come with no strings attached. No expectations, not even of gratitude. Again, we run up against that chasm: some gifts have strings attached, which is just another source of resentment.

Me? I've been in tight situations, and only gotten out of them because of the kindness of others. I don't rely on the kindness of others, because that would be sort of like relying on the clouds to part when you're trying to view a lunar eclipse (it could happen, I want it to happen, but I don't count on it). Consequently, when in a position to help, I try to do so—always bearing in mind that it could be a trap, because there are also those who would take advantage of kindness.

Still, if someone's scamming, that's on them. If I fail to help in a situation where someone genuinely needs it, that's on me.

Gratitude is optional, but it makes the experience that much more pleasant.