After spending nightmarish years in jail Chris is forced to live with "Slow-in-the-Minds"! |
It was April 2nd, 2023, and you are waking up on yet, another miserable day in this Hellhole. You are still quite upset with Heilberg for putting you here in the first place, and it sure as Hell didn't help that you have to go to a garnishment case at the end of the month. You were quite bored this morning and you waited until staff was distracted before you slipped into an office to check up on some things, mainly regarding vidya. During your investigation, you find out that there is a game called, "The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog." At first, you thought that this was some random project created by the DANG, DIRTY TROLLS, but upon your horror, you discover that it was, indeed, a full fledged game...made by Sega...of all people! This made you snap, FIRST HASBRO KILLS OFF EQUESTRIA AND REPLACES EVERYONE WITH THOSE "NOT-SO-EASY-ON-THE-EYES" COMPUTER ANIMATED PONIES, NOW SEGA IS KILLING OFF THEIR OWN MASCOT?!? YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING UP TO SONIC SINCE THE 90S! HE WAS FUCKING THERE WHEN THOSE EVIL TEACHERS AND COUNSELORS PINNED YOU DOWN AND FORCED YOU TO MOVE AWAY TO ANOTHER SCHOOL! HE WAS YOUR CHILDHOOD HERO AND SEGA KILLED HIM OFF WITH A SNAP OF A FINGER! Enraged, you would start to wreck havoc upon the office area, alerting the staff to your presence! The head honchos tried to calm you down, but you were so pissed that their words have no affect on you! Just as you started to swing your fists at the staff, a nurse would rush in and inject some "booty juice" into you, causing you to black out. The next day, you go back into a screaming fit upon realizing of Sega's most heinous crime! |