Complex Numbers

A Sentence Walks Into a Bar, Comes To a Full Stop

This one's from a very, very long time ago. Way back in 2011.

    Seven Bar Jokes Involving Grammar and Punctuation  

Among the surest ways to get me to memorize something is to put it in the form of a song (think Schoolhouse Rock) or a joke. Most certain of all is if it's a joke song. Then, that shit never leaves my head.

I don't think I'm alone in this. It is utterly impossible to say the place name "Istanbul" without someone chiming in with "NOT CONSTANTINOPLE."

Today's link, a very short one, contains no songs. Just some bad "walks into a bar" jokes that, if you're anything like me, will fix some grammar rules in your head forever, like a pawprint in fresh concrete.

1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

Yeah, this is kind of like the old standby "Eats shoots and leaves."

4. Two quotation marks “walk into” a bar.

I used to get unreasonably angry when I saw quotes where they didn't belong. Like one outside a restaurant in my town a few years ago: Genuine Turkish Street "Food." (I wonder if the owner is from not-Constantinople.)

Maybe it's just me, but I'd much rather eat food than "food."

6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.

This one cracked me up more than it probably should have.

Obviously, there are four more at the link. The only one that I found actually funny was #6 above, but the others at least elicited (NOT ILLICITED) a sensible chuckle.

If I had more time today, I could probably make up a few more. Know any others? Feel free to leave a comment below.