Porthole

8th week of the year 180.

14.เดือนพฤษภาคม

Mighty: The Kong. The Moon. All rivers flow from high to low. Not all reach the sea. But here... where ricefields flood then overflow and mighty river banks cannot stem the flow... only redirect it... we watch the water take it all away, leaving us bereft and those downstream... drowning. 45+4w Edited in "Floodplains [180.30] M#7 40w" 

I posted on FB: "I remember special meals in my life: my father making milk-toast when my sister and I were sick; mother making fudge; my uncle and cousin cooking fat burgers on the grill. When I traveled to Hayfield, Mavis tried to kill me with a full English breakfast (bless her) and Cecilie Liv Moe braised whale in cream sauce when I visited her in Tromsø. I dare not forget never-ending Tim Tams in Wangi Wangi (thanks to Dirk and Linda Visman). What do these memories hold in common? They were shared with love and kindness. Kindness isn't fancy nor does it draw attention to itself. Love is freely given in the large or small doses of daily life. It's what has kept me alive."

My mother (1922-2022) would have been 101 last week. My father (1916-1999) lived as long as he did because of my mother. I'm in my last stage of life (for an unknown passage of time). Pannya is cooking rice and went to Seven-Eleven and brought me back snacks. I may live longer and healthier (even if only for a short time) due to his care.

It's 10:12. I'm foggy. I got up very early to watch the results of Eurovision. No surprise that the juries loved Loreen and gave her an insurmountable lead. The audience in the hall and the voters at home were enthusiastic for Käärijä and voted him first by a wide margin. In some ways there were two winners: Sweden and Finland. Israel, Italy and Norway rounded out the top 5.

Thai
Pool Pan had gone before I got back and I won't go in water alone.
Walk Bought sandwiches from Vigo.
PorP "Floodplains [180.30] M#7 40w" 
Sh&L "Letting go " 

Thai:
ไป go
อยู่ stay
มา come
กลับมา come back

อยากไปศรีสะเกษ . พักสามคืน . เที่ยวศรีสะเกษ 1 วัน . เที่ยวขุนหาญ 1 วัน. (Xyāk pị ṣ̄rīs̄akes̄ʹ.phạk s̄ām khụ̄n.theī̀yw ṣ̄rīs̄akes̄ʹ 1 wạn.theī̀yw k̄hunh̄āỵ 1 wạn.)

อยากไปเที่ยวชัยภูมิ มหาสารคาม ร้อยเอ็ด มุกดาหาร พิมาย (Xyāk pị theī̀yw chạyp̣hūmi mh̄ās̄ārkhām r̂xyxĕd mukdāh̄ār phimāy)

ฉันอยากไปเที่ยวกับคุณและถ่ายรูปคุณ (c̄hạn xyāk pị theī̀yw kạb khuṇ læa t̄h̀āyrūp khuṇ)

อยากเที่ยวทุกอาทิตย์! (xyāk theī̀yw thuk xāthity̒!)

ฉันต้องการวิดีโอที่คุณร้องเพลง (C̄hạn t̂xngkār widīxo thī̀ khuṇ r̂xngphelng)

must/want: ฉันต้องการไป ฉันต้องเดิน ฉันต้องไป

Thai elections went on without a hitch. The two main opposition parties are mopping up as expected. Udon Thani definitely supports the opposition, especially Preut Thai.

13.เดือนพฤษภาคม

A bit damp and a bit dull and only 78 degrees this morning. Easterlies will bring rain and maybe maybe a high of 82.

Walk. Checked on visa. La Malila is open. Bought toilet paper.
Pool. Pannya came home late. I don't go into water by myself.
Thai. Not enough to count.
tvBL. Watched half of Moonlight Chicken.
Euro. Followed and watched what I could.
Cook. Pannya usually cooks, but what I prepared (chopped up vegs and pork, fish, shrimp in rice with egg) turned out well.
Visa. Went to office got info about Non O visa, bank, types of visa.

Apparently I can keep doing what I'm doing. 2 months, leave, 2 months, leave, 2 months, leave... For now that would be renew June 1 until June 30, leave for 2 days or two weeks, come back after July 13, renew August 11 leave Sept 9. Something like that. Renewal is 1.900 baht. Malaysia: Thai free; Cambodia: $30+fee beforehand or on arrival. Thai is free for 14 days; Viet Nam: US on airplane arrival $25? Thai is visa-free for 30 days; Myanmar: $50 ETA? for 28 days; Thai is visa-free <14 days; Singapore: no visa fee? Thai is visa-free; Brunei: US visa-free <90d; Thai is visa-free.

Tonight is Eurovision. Two favorites: Finland (call-in votes), Sweden (jury), and maybe France as a sleeper (old fashioned). Slovenia is nice but doesn't have the energy. Australia has the energy but doubt that it will be enough. The audience Tuesday night was more than enthusiastic for Finland's "Cha Cha Cha". My insane (because I really don't understand millenial/gen-z Europeans: 1. Finland 2. Sweden 3. Spain (just enough to please televoters and jury).

I didn't sleep well. Bed fairly early. Pannya joined me at 01:30.

I looked at my under-water photos last night, edited a few, and sent them to Pannya. He was very happy. Posted one at FB.

Sneezing... may not be 100% well. Pannya snoozes.

O Easy on the Eyes. You snooze. I sneeze. And the world whirls with or without us. In pictures you'll always be a teenage geek... or a handsome young man. You'll wrinkle long after I'm gone. Not because I want to move on; but, Death doesn't wait. It embraces. 48w

12.เดือนพฤษภาคม

Walk
Pool Plus underwater photos
Visa progress... got info.
Thai very little... too late, too tired
7-11 Lotus
Boss

The Baily's beads effect or diamond ring effect is a feature of total and annular solar eclipses. As the Moon covers the Sun during a solar eclipse, the rugged topography of the lunar limb allows beads of sunlight to shine through in some places while not in others.

Read the beads along the edge of the moon. 10
Decipher their message. Heed what they know,10
and what you will know — soon enough. 8

Life hangs tough and each bead of hope brightens 10
the day. Shine on. Shine on. Do not dismay. 10
The future speaks along the edge 8

where sun peeks through. Leave bad habits behind; 10
seek the Light that will guide your way. 8

Edited: in "Script of the Eclipse [180.28] " 

Swimming... a bit of progress. I really don't like water so I need to overcome my fears. I will say that the water was quite warm and that helps. Plus Pannya was there in case I had problems. I took some underwater photos that turned out okay. Pan was pleased.

Pan cooked seafood and earlier sea bass. Very tasty but I'll gain weight if I eat like he does.

Yesterday: 80.9 kg. = 169.80+016.98 = 176.78 = 177 lb. I would like to lose weight slowly to 170 lb. At least I still weigh less than 13 stone.

Nice rain this evening. We needed it.

11.เดือนพฤษภาคม

Watched Malaysia beat Thailand 2-1 in one round of Sepak Takraw (SEA Games in Cambodia). I've seen it played in a park in Udon Thani. Bicycle kicks are its main feature.

It sprinkled while we swam last evening and I believe it rained overnight. Thought I heard thunder. It may rain today and all day tomorrow.

Not as hot. 88/76 forecast.

Today's objectives:

Walk
Pool
Wash
Thai
Rose

Monkeys: Not a luau. Not hot pot.

I would find out what his favorite dish is. And who he wants to invite... and how many. Then I would ban bananas.

I loved giving 'parties' every other Wednesday night... years ago. I would send out invitations. Average of 10-12 friends and friends of friends.

I hosted a barbecue for 15 years every August. Mostly around 30 friends, neighbors, co-workers came. Never family. Two years there were around 80 guests. One year... 150.

But... a party for me? No, I don't like parties for myself.

This year a friend made a cake for his birthday. We ate it the next day at a mutual friend's place... on my birthday. Just the 3 of us. No gifts. No fuss. Just pleasant company. I would want to do the same for you-know-who.

Monkeys would only be allowed if he wanted them there. Edited in "Not a luau [13+] P#4" 

05/11/2023-"The Night" Tropical, Arctic? He relishes moonlight, slinks through the shadows of daybreak, sleeps at high noon. He doesn't like exposure to the sun or the harsh reality of poverty. Black is the color of my true love's hair. I wish it truly were him.
05/12/2023- 'afresh' Like durian or here we go again? anew again abounding adumbrate aright afterwards apace
05/13/2023-'lovely' or handsome?
05/14/2023-'mighty' like the Menam Kong or Menam Mun?

Chevro-legs or Lambugh-feetie

10.เดือนพฤษภาคม

Green. I want more green. Anything that's been watered is green. The orange-flowered trees are ablaze. Everything else is the dun color of dust.

"Moon over Lithuania [180.24]" 
"Rain washes away my brain [180.25]" 

Ate a mushroom-cheese burger at Koala. 109 baht.

Bought spoons, forks, a basket, a plastic container, floral spray. Also roti and strawberry ice cream.

I wore my long-sleeve green shirt. 97 degrees. Wore hat and carried umbrella.

Walk
Pool

I lived in the garden in Spring and Autumn. Summer and Winter I sought refuge in the closet. I...have been through many seasons.

House #1 I stayed out of the cellar. I lived there for less than 2 years.
House #2 I never did get into my attic. I lived there for 13 years. I rarely went into the basement.
House #3 I slept in a closet with a window facing the dawn. 3 years was a life sentence.

Since my nightmares revolve around mistakes, I may never own a house again.

Poland: She'll squeeze the shit out of you if you let her. Bring her chocolate, flowers, wine. She'll smile and squeeze you harder. She has been fought over many times, her fields plundered. But she survived. She don't take shit from nobody. 41w

9.เดือนพฤษภาคม

I'm home. Finally. Took a week. Long flights, 2 days to decompress and then waiting to reconnect so we could go home together. Home is Udon Thani, Thailand and a shared bed.

My phone is on ICT. My chromebook is on MDT. It's 22:36 in NYC/EDT. 20:36 in Montana/MDT. But it's a cloudy 09:36 in Udon Thani (May 9th). We are expecting rain for a week.

I'm going to try to write 40 words/day. Midnight = 11:00 here. I also want to catch up at WdC.

Am I getting stronger as I age? Bones become brittle, muscles soften, brain atrophies; but, I do notice how everything around me has become stronger. If the stench of my rotting flesh could fend off the future... I'd live forever.

"Like bleu cheese [180.22] M#1 40w" 

I dragged myself out of bed at 3 a.m. to scratch something on a notepad. Glad I did. The thoughts had fled by morning. But... backing up... it was a long 9 hour bus ride (5 p.m.-2 a.m.) and we had been gone for one month. Turn on the a/c, take a shower, yada yada yada.

To Judith: "Ah... the humor... I do dark better than humor .

I loved dark sweet red wine. It loved me. We divorced almost 50 years ago.

I do love cubby-holes. I'd prefer a room that has a window, books on the wall, a cozy high-backed chair... fantasy. Oh... and a cup of coffee. My daily exercise would be to make more coffee unless there's a garden to work in and wander through. "

Pannya made me supper (rice, omelette, fish) and then left because he wanted seafood hot pot for 300 baht, leaving me home. I should be grateful. I'm not happy.

Deep. As in bottomless. As in never ending nightmares. As in looking into your eyes and drowning. Deeper. Deeper still. Until gasping I surface devoid of all fear. Then waking, shaking, making the bed I lie in, imagining it's full of air. 42w

8.เดือนพฤษภาคม

Catching up whilst Pannya sleeps.

I tried durian today. I see why people like it. It has the texture of custard, sweet but not too sweet, easy to eat. Yes, it stinks. Pannya loves it.

We take a bus to Udon Thani today.

My nerves are fine.

And then they weren't... next time I must sweetly point out to Pannya that trips matter and that one can check times and plan beforehand. Traveling on a dark and rainy night is not optimal.

I'm thinking Malaysia or Viet Nam this month or next. If so... I'll do the planning and then try to remember that Pan prefers to just fly-by-his-pants. This "no worries" attitude challenges for me.


Am I getting stronger as I age? Or do bones become brittle, muscles soften, brain atrophies. I do notice how everything around me has become stronger. If the stench of my rotting flesh could fend off the future... I'd live forever. 41w. Now edited.

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