Porthole

9th week of the year 180

21/05/66

Up at a decent hour. A dreary 91 degrees at 09:05. Breakfast: rice gruel with pork. Workout: yellow and white butterflies, a bee, a bug, a fly, two doves and one orangeish squirrel traipsing along the fence.

PorP. "Nothing to do with it [180.40] M#13 40w" 
Thai. Online and book
Pool.
Walk.
Foto. A couple flowers.
Exor. 100+100/100+100/100/300 (m,m,no hands). 800 total. Not so bad when there's a bit of shade.
tvBL. UMG. Chicken on-line.
baht. Withdrew money. Since the charge is 220 baht, I usually take out 20,000 then nurse it for as long as I can.

05/21/2023-'good' I resolved to give up being perfect as there was never a past - present - future that was perfect. But I did something right by mistake and won the lottery! I swear, dear Mae, goodness had nothing to do with it1.
05/22/2023-'always' Never have I broken my heart. Torn it a few times? Sure. And my bones? A few. What about promises? Ah, there you've got me. And me in the mirror? I've learned to love you... but I'll always remember... how you hurt me.
05/23/2023- 'Lordie me' Can you write a political limerick? Sure. Lord Lundy of Lim'rick got lucky/mucky. Ron deSantis of Disney's just yucky/sucky. They met in a bar. Where under a star. They met Donald the twice loser duckie. What about Joe Biden? Joe's not bad he's just cheugy. [lounged while the lugers lost their luster] a study in alliteration or a limerick.

We have no rights to our individuality: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/mississippi-transgender-teen-will-miss-high-sc...

To Steven re "Webster": I get the impression that you didn't like it. Remakes and rip-offs can work as good as or better than the original, especially when the barrier to understanding is culture or language.

An example from my life: I'm sure that the movie "A Man Called Otto" is done well; but, I understood "En man som heter Ove" quite fine, thank you. It may be because of my Swedish heritage, and where as Otto as a curmudgeon has to be explained, Ove is iconic.

What the need to remake Ove does for me is highlight how Americans have lost the understanding of Europeans in a century of mixing and isolation.

To wit: Black Americans by any synonym are not Africans and Thais of Chinese heritage are not Chinese. In the US it varies by ethnic group. Swedes became americanized swifter than Norwegians; Greek Americans are still Greek... in many ways. With any group it's possible to emphasize the similarities or differences.

But back to "Webster". I don't remember the show very well. I was in a different stage of life in the 80s than you were and, as you pointed out, your sister had a totally different reaction. My older sister and I did not grow up in the same family that my younger sister did. Yes, in the same house with the same parents, but the family dynamics had changed in 8 years.

Note: I comment here because your book format only allows for reviews. With 47 entries so far you're doing a good job though."

To Stik: "Glad you explained why passing people is a problem. I didn't connect the dots.

As for potholes... why would any course have a hazard? Although, I can trip over myself on uneven pavement... so...

My legs are "short". I don't have a body suited for running. I'm a bit knock-kneed... again, not suitable. My lungs... *sigh*. Also, I'm old, but that's just a lame excuse.

I am trying to work out daily! But I'm not interested in strength or endurance. I'm trying to work on flexibility and lower back and thigh muscles. An ND (from Malaysia of Indian heritage working in China... gotta love hostels!) I met in Bangkok pointed out how I wasn't walking properly. His free advice was priceless."

Well... I know the word for ant, but haven't yet found ant-killer. Ah... maybe at Lotus. 12:55. The Resident Zombie has risen from his bed. 99°F 37°C. I walk slow, stick to the shade when I can. I'm vampish; heat does not amuse me.

Pannya ran out of money. He gave half to his mother because he bought a smart-phone. He ate out, bought a watch. Money lasted less than a week. 10 days left in the month and he has nothing.

To Stik: "I wasn't prepared for the isolation and lack of mobility. Without a car and with travel restrictions I was marooned in a town that closed its cafés and shut down its social life other than bars and casinos.

The anti-everything-scientific folks and the anti-everything-decent leader more than annoyed me. Anxiety and depression assailed me.

Is it over? No. Am I obsessed with it? No. How about isolation and mobility, anxiety and depression? I managed in Montana but I'm struggling here in Thailand due to language, culture and climate. Still, I feel healthier than in 2021 and 2022.

I was traumatized long before covid; but, covid didn't help because my coping skills of travel and connection were severely compromised."

20/05/66

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWBlFUnnqY4

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/andrew-sean-greer-a-gay-writer-in-search-of-tr...

How many shades of gay are there? I lived in farmland Kansas when I was 23... loved it... but deSantis has a christo-fascist vision for his Amerikkka... and that is NOT acceptable to me. Better Thailand.

Thai. TalkThai and book.
PorP. "Crow [180.39] M#12 40w" 
Exor. 100/100/100/300 (bicycle mfs medium-fast-slow) Thai.
Pool. Scooted along edge on my back. Making progress to 7/11. Bought soap and mouthwash.
Walk. Only a short walk.
Foto. At the pool, in our room.
tvBL. Moonlight Chicken

I'm weak and dizzy. Not a good sign. Pannya came back very late (early?). Es mejor decir la madrugada; no hay palabra en inglés. He put the a/c on freezing and that made it hard for me to sleep. I got to bed at 2 am and got up late. Nap?

Noon: 37°C = 98°F ... for the next 5 hours. Except... it may have rained and I was able to exercise when it was still a tad cloudy. Makes a huge difference.

Today is a purple day. I should buy a purple shirt this week. And a short sleeve green, pink or red one. Also a t-shirt? I have a lot of clothes... just not the right ones.

Ashishishe stood at bat. He would show the Braves who was brave today. He was brave every day. He wore his name "crow", like an emblem, in honor of his namesake. Strike 3? Tomorrow, he smiled. And all the tomorrows left to him. Apsáalooke always rose up from defeat.

So not 'into' today.

19/05/66

It's 10:07 and I'm finishing up my rice and coffee. I should do my outdoor exercise before it gets hotter. It's 91 degrees. 100 is forecast.

I eat slow.

Twin: Alberth stood there ignoring me in Uvita. I thought... out of context... maybe he didn't recognize me? I said nothing. When I saw him back home I mentioned this. He said, Oh, that's my twin Ivan. Edited and posted.

PorP. "Doppelganger [180.36] M#11 40w"  "Elegy in sepia [180.37] ((8)) photo of tree and giraffe"  "Breakfast's at Eight [180.38] ((8)) 40w " 
Thai. Very little.
Pool. Pannya wasn't home. I won't go in alone.
Walk.
Foto. Took a couple. Edited a few. Posted 5 at FB
Exor. 100/100/100/250 at 11:15. I wore gloves because the handlebars burn.
tvBL. End of Boss and Babe? Happy ending but it faded towards the end.

Spill the beans into a bowl, then let them soak.
Wash the rice, remove the stones.
Chop cilantro, carrots, onions, peppers, add a yolk.
Cook when daybreak dawns. Don't eat alone.
Invite family, friends and folk. Puts flesh on bones. 40w Edited, posted.

00:28. Pannya said he was back one hour ago. I wait. And wait.

18/05/66

Today is Mark's birthday. I believe it's also my college graduation day. Pan and I have been together 6 months. Bought a rose. He had his durian ice cream at Swensens.

PorP. ""Adagio in Armagh" ... Sound of Glass ((8)) [180.35]"  Skipping 40 words for a day.
Mess.
Wash. Pannya did the wash. I helped a tad.
Thai. Spoke with Pem (she teaches children age 2-7), reviewed Video.
Pool.
Walk.
Foto. Lotus and orchids.
Exor. Did about 50/50/100/250. Not sure. I did less because it was stifling hot and the handle bars seared my flesh. 38 degrees at 5 pm. Probably hit 39 today.
tvBL. Didn't get home in time.

How to write about a cockroach:

1. Love it. whether you write about how you hate them or love them deep-fried, it's all about you.
2. Learn how to describe it. How it breathes, moves, breeds.
3. See the world through the eyes of a cockroach. What obstacles must it overcome.

Now do this about your neighbor down the street that you hate, that you compare to...

Write about what you know and love.

To Jennifer: "Lies... do so much harm. Truth may hurt but one knows where one stands. Lies? It's like quicksand. "

Got up late. Now 11:11. I'll need to tackle my list. It does remind me that I need to make new routines and that I can't sit inside all day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joUEC257ZS0

17/05/66

For forty:
05/17/2023-'Mother' Mother/father. In the motherland, the fatherland, the hermaphrodictic snail doesn't care. It just waves it's eye-stalks, wear its home on its back. looks for another to share a moment, lays eggs, never raises its children.
05/18/2023-'Father'
05/19/2023-'twin' Gemini/ Albert/Ivan he didn't tell me he had an identical twin. the good twin the bad twin
05/20/2023-'brave' to brave the gloom, the wind, the cold they flee to a beach to brave the waves the wind and sand-fleas. Ah, Englishmen and dogs blister in the noon day sun.

The heat. The humidity. I breathe hard; but, my skin loves it. Any exertion is met with a huff and a puff. I walk slowly. I wear a hat. I use lotion and shower twice, thrice... Everything smells by the end of the day. For only one night, a white flower blooms fragrant, masking the ennui of a rotting listless life. It's tranquil alright. It's not the weather, as Northerners can attest, it's the clothes one wears. Here it's "cover up from the sun", and anything that bites. But it's more than wanting to peel off one's skin. I'm weary and worn out.

PorP. "In the Temple of Hermaphrodite [180.34] M#10 40w" 
Mess. some
Thai. some
Pool.
Walk. Ran into Kelly from Australia.
Foto. three+ taken and 4 posted.
SS&S.
Exor. 200-100-50-200 cc. Dropped my key but found it.
tvBL. Skyy 2

Sound of Glass: Mary sags slowly like a Brahm's adagio yet tinkles like bells when struck. She's had ten too many children and now wants to crash through the ceiling before she's too worn out. She's 30. A bit of hemlock? A dash of arsenic? As the owner of her future, she'll rise to the top and give her offspring what their father can never stop. ((8))

To AL on FB: "Yes. I understand. I miss a lot from earlier stages of my life. Here I try to talk to the same people on a regular basis. They will never be my friends but it's comforting none-the-less. A swede in Norrjöping once told me that every Swede had 3 friends and didn't need another. I wish I had that many old friends. Traveling has opened the world, but cut me off from deeper relationships. Social media gives the illusion of connection; but, it's not the same as watching a parade with friends in Norway on the 17th of May and sharing an ice cream later".

16/05/66

PorP. "Bertha [180.33] M#9 40w" 
Mess.
Thai
Pool. I won't go alone.
Walk. Went to the Wat west of Nong Prajak.
Foto. Took photos of Pan at the Wat and while he was getting a massage.
SS&S. Need to do daily.
Exor. 200-100-50-150 counterclockwise. 6 minutes.

Grateful Dead https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVF22wIKPKU
Bertha: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaYfA7tfT1g

Bertha: She grated the carrots, julienned the jujubes, gently braised the parrots, threw it all in a pot. We were grateful when she was gone. We arranged a wake, setting in front of her portrait an offering of burnt toast with fermented fish and cheese.

Edited: "Bertha [180.33] M#9 40w" 

To Mighty: "We all have different personalities and the times may dictate who is best to lead.

I think of the old Cherokee paradigm. Beloved Woman decided whether the village was at peace or at war. Each of the 7 clans had peace chiefs and war chiefs. No one was best suited for everything.

Your style may not suit everyone or be the best in every situation.

So why not own that? Same with the 'problem' employee. In a family or village they would be contributing in their own way and valued for that. Drama has its uses, as does a more chaotic approach, not every aspect of life need be timed. That said, the chief may "help" them find a better position. What are this person's strengths? And can they be harnessed... elsewhere.

But, even royalty needs a jester. It keeps them humble. And you are royalty."

"You noted that I embedded the song I referred to. It helps those who are curious but unfamiliar with the song. It's also a courtesy and good form. Same with references to articles. Why make someone search for what is being referred to when a simple link will suffice.

It's common these days for the media (social media is worse) to make outrageous hyped headlines followed by a short article with no links or references to back up the premises. Journalism has suffered by by the click-bait monetization of information while facts are less important than ka-ching ka-ching. I shouldn't have to fact-check e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g

I travel. I'm not a tourist bureau. No one pays me to tell you about the garbage in the canals of Paris or the river that runs through Peja in Kosovo, or the stench of durian in Udon Thani or stinky tofu in Tainan, Taiwan, or how black-out curtains are a must in Norway. I write from personal experience for nothing, and it hurts to know that many writers are paid for their lies."

15/05/66

Beautiful or buttfull? Each scar, each mole, each imperfection reminds me that I once was young and self-conscious, thinking that I was ugly, unaware that age would rob me of what I once had. Post-acne and pre-wrinkle... I had my moments in the sun.

Swimming wouldn't be so bad if it didn't involve water. I shudder each time I go under. Like anesthetic... wondering whether I will ever surface.

PorP. "Moments in the sun [180.32] M#8 40w" 
Thai
Pool. Made some progress addressing my fear. Took underwater video. Sent it to Pan.
Walk

Elections in Thailand were mostly uneventful. The military must accept the voice of the people clamoring for change... at least for now.

7309

Footnotes
1  In 1959, [Mae] West released her bestselling autobiography, Goodness Had Nothing To Do With It, recounting her life in show business.