Porthole

12th week of the year 180

(exercise) Exor. (observations) obsv. (shit,shave,shower) ss&s. (read something) read. (comment blogs) bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) tv25. (write poetry or prose) PorP. (take a daily walk) walk. (buy something) shop. (take a photo) foto. (video) วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-in-the-water) pool. (clothes) wash. (cook something) cook. (tidy up) mess. (travel) trip.

11/06/66
Update: "Weekly Goals" 

Up 9-ish. 85 at 11:36. We leave at noon. Hour and 40 minutes to get to Khun Han. So... yeah... making it a day trip would've been exhausting. I took pictures and video along the way. Coffee in KH where Pan greeted friends. Cloudburst just before 17:00.

pôod. gaining confidence. Spoke to man from Khun Han in SiSaKet.
walk. around SiSaKet.
foto.
วิดีโอ. from bus
trip. to Khun Han.
ss&s.
bogs. Harlow/Mighty/Stik
Thai. "and" lae/gab/gab(with)/laew-gaw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvBAohEfJ0g
ytBL. Past-Senger Ep.6 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvBAohEfJ0g

DJT (Newsweek) "As well as attacking the case as a "witch hunt" against him, Trump also said that if he were to win the 2024 election, he would sign an executive order as president to remove federal funding from schools that teach critical race theory and "transgender insanity" and other "inappropriate racially, political, and sexual content" to children."

In my opinion this equals 'erasure'.

10/06/66

ytBL. Past-Senger ep.5 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bi-1umow0EI&t=129s
pôod. Trying to speak more.
foto.
วิดีโอ. from bus
trip.
read. Chapter 5.
Thai. Learn Thai - Use of อีก(èeg) (more, again, another)

Today was problematic. Trip to SiSaKet after very little sleep (up at 6 am). 7 hour bus ride. It rained by ราษีไศล Rasi Salai but it was dry when we arrived.

So my to-do list is shot. Plus, I'm having computer problems.

Did read another one of Steven's chapters. I'll get there.

Pan is zoned out. Not good... but we see his doctor Monday.

09/06/66

82 at 9:26

         Up late as I barely slept. Pan came home in a daze at 01:15. One of his periodic episodes. He was burning up and sweating all night, not moving, shallow breaths. Not good.
         I had a nice chat with David L. at the A2 gazebo. Pan has a doctor's appt. on Monday. Good timing?

เที่ยง 87 degrees

Bogs. 12:20 Jennifer/Lyn/Phyllis
ytBL. 13:30 Past-Senger Ep.4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XibNhAoNM0
read. 14:00 Horror story. Chapter 4.
Thai. 15:25 To be https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOyq37i_A3g&t=813s
Exor. 16:00 150/50/50/150 = 400 91 degrees with some clouds.
ss&s. 16:30

84 degrees 19:30

walk. 18:30
shop. 18:30 mouthwash 88 baht, 4 bao 20/ea, milk

To Steven: "Chapter 4: Silence of the Lambs? Someone needed/wanted a new skin? I just want a new body or at least the parts back that I've lost (they can keep the appendix).

By now I've gotten into the rhythm of your verbosity.

The pacing... that last line... a very good hook.

Do all of your chapters have hooks? If so it works a bit like a nineteenth century penny-dreadful. Strong technique."{/}

To Tracker: "My mother became a mother when she had me. I was #2 as she had a miscarriage. I named him Jeremy... because he had no name and no one to mourn him. I was the only son, the golden child, the misfit, the...




08/06/66

80-ish degrees at 7-ish.
Exor. 08:40 200/75/50/225 = 550
obsv. 09:00 black cat on a blue roof; jets, planes, train; smell of grass, piles of grass, weed-cutter and lawn-mower.
ss&s. 09:30
wash. 09:45 Pan washes clothes.
Exterminator 10-12.
read. 10:30 Return "Invalid Entry" 
blog. 11:25 Apondia/Beholden/Rhychus
เที่ยง 88 degrees
ytBL. 13:45 Past-Senger Ep.3
Thai. 17:00 Negatives: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dw_cz0Pxj_I
PorP. 17:30 "Monochrome in indigo [180.55] ((8))" 
84 degrees at 7-ish
walk. 19:00
shop. 19:00 white rose, white lotus, durian
tv25. 21:30 Our Skyy
pool.
mess.
Foto only a couple.
pôod. very little
21:50 82 degrees

all color removed except for blue
this nighttime gift of shame you left me
towers I cannot climb
supplications declined
emotions I can never fathom

here in the city
surrounded by millions
I sob all alone [55]

Edited and posted "Monochrome in indigo [180.55] ((8))" 

To Judith: "Thank you. Lovely pastoral vignette.

By-the-way... I find these interludes important and sometimes lacking in fiction where they can provide setting and ambiance. This would be a nice first chapter to a horror story (contrast can work wonders).

In-real-life, too many people rush when it isn't necessary. Winter's a good case study. Roads not plowed = going nowhere. What gets done gets done. When everything's done one bakes or reads.

Spring however, has always been my favorite season for doing something after being cooped up all winter. Springs came late along the Great Lakes and then hurried in a gush of leaf-green and pollen. I loved the smell of freshly mown grass. Usually in May. Today they whacked and mowed the lawns at the condo here at Lumpini in Udon Thani. Big piles of green, the myna birds searching the short grass.

To live in the North, a place of 4 seasons, one must find the beauty at each time of year. I've settled into the boring routines of the two-season tropics. It's the 1st part of the rainy season when I welcome the downpours that sweep away the trash and cleanse the air. I'm sitting in a covered area watching butterflies and birds. There's musack playing and workers sweeping, but at 10:46 I have the seating area to myself.

Basically... I see someone now and the birds... no frogs or toads at the moment. Where are they when needed to get rid of the pesky flies?"

To Beholden: "Algorithms will dumb us down. I do search for odd things sometimes. Popular vs Peculiar = I was more peculiar. That helps me at times. As does the 'interested in everything'.

Even with the news... I check out the 'enemy' occasionally. Recently, I found out about the dam by Kherson on a weather/climate channel. Nothing on MSN, so I went to Al Jezeera. Now? It's a concern but only in the sense of devastation and possible war escalation. Americans love to watch violence of various ilks.

On youtube I watch The Voice, Thai BL series, Thai language instructions, random music but specifically Dimash."

07/06/66

In response to a meme posted by Patricia: "Don't argue with creative types ... Why? It would do no good and if they did listen the world would be a darker shade of dismal."

80 degrees at 8-ish. Was up 7-ish.
ss&s. 09:00 17:15 22:00
Exor. 09:30 300/50/50/300 = 700
PorP. 10:30 "Impatiens [180.54] ((8))" 
obsv. 09:30 17:00 blue-green and yellow feathered bird perched on the flowering ginger, looking for... nectar, bugs? Splash of puddles, running water in the ditches, fragrant jasmine, growing tips of orchid roots.
blog. 11:40 Marvilla/TJ/Sorji
Thai. 12:05 Barriers* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3ucO0fNVw4
เที่ยง 31°C 87°F Not sure about temp.
ytBL. 13:30 Past-Senger Ep. 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRw79M08MOA
foto. 14:00 Heavy rain, took video. วิดีโอ ถ่ายวิดีโอ
walk. 17:00
shop. 17:00 น้ำจิ่ม (no chili) กาแฟ 16:45 ไก่ หมู ลิ้นจี่ แครอท ผัก
pôod. นิดนอย
80°F 27°C
read. 19:20 "Invalid Entry"  Yes, I liked it.
tv25. 21:30 Our Skyy 2 BadBuddiesxATOTS Ep.3
pool.
mess.

To TJ: Yep. The electric bill near killed me.

It was very hot in May and mostly dry
but the rains have come with grey pregnant skies.

I wear an orange cap and carry an umbrella.
I'm not too stupid. I'm a smart old fella.

I also cover up. Bugs and flies and skeeters...

They bloomed every summer, an oval of soft pink against a backdrop of sage-green cedar. They mirrored my struggle to be patient. I waited. You never responded. Should I have planted firecrackers, a rainbow explosion of color. Edited: "Impatiens [180.54] ((8))" 

To Dan: Spring came late to Montana. My friends say it's still wet and cool there. Green Season arrived in Isan with the rains. The birds and the bugs love it. And I don't mind 80f/27c overcast degrees. Better'n 95/35 and boiling in my own juices while choking on the smoke!

Well... I woke up with a tummy-ache and loose bowels. I've eaten a little: rice, potato and pumpkin. And fired fish-skins that remind me of chicharrones but easier to eat.

To Marvilla: "I am in the process of making personal adjustments to get my life back on track and more manageable. This. I need to do this periodically. If I don't I'm faced with too many changes all at once and that overwhelms me. So...

Boundaries.

Not as simple as one word for those who need to establish them. And we-both do.

At the moment I still struggle with boundaries but I have made a list of objectives I can check off daily. I'm focused on learning a new language and culture but routines (exorcise/exercise and personal hygiene) are on the list so I don't neglect them. Focusing on accomplishments helps me to say no when I have to say NO (to myself or anyone else).

As for that new cape... what color will it be if I may ask? "

To Sara: "At a safe distance...

I'm not sure that 20 years and 12 time zones are enough but I no longer feel stressed out by the past on a daily basis. Trauma is an unwanted "giver".

So... a smile, a hug, and the proper distance (especially time-wise) is a good idea."

"Birds need to have feathers; people need to have friends." Kiew takes away the phone and makes Bamee look (as in notice). I'm liking Past-Senger in spite of paywalls that won't allow me to watch all of it. Tita Josie seems to be good at cutting (only 60% is allowed on youtube) but I watch for cultural reasons not just to see a love story.

I broke the computer screen. It's a touch screen so... I've had it about 1 year.

I sent this poem from last June to the Senior Forum: "Serenade to Odin's Day" 

To Petra (edited):

in a rush
in a gush
words tumble
as we blush
shhh—hush

Sometimes we lose it along the way.

06/06/66

75 degrees at 8-ish.
Exor. 200/50/50/100 = 600 09:10 Chatted with Tom
pôod. 09:30
obsv. swallows and swallowtails. ants in the bathroom. 09:30
ss&s. 09:40
Thai. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMItJRPfqHA 10:20
blog. Jim/Sonali/Angr 11:00
เที่ยง 29°C 85°F Partly cloudy and will rain later.
read. Chapter 1 "Invalid Item"  14:20
walk. 16:45
tvBL. Past Senger https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhQF-BV27ps 18:10
87°F 31°C
foto.
pool. I could have because Pan would've gone with me.
PorP

Nice chat with Tom this morning. She's the pink jogger. Her daughter lives at Lumpini; she lives closer to Nong Prajak. She's from Udon and 64. I can understand her English. She has a Canadian friend and that may be why.

To Angr: "I really liked this. The use of 7/7/7/7 divided 3/4 or 4/3 reminds me of the hymn "Rock of Ages" and adds a musical component to these two verses.

There could be more... a third verse going back in time... maybe two verses... and then a last verse back to the present/future/ancient-past.

I have a variety of traumas and triggers. Not all memories are unpleasant but bad ones once triggered take me back. Photos work well for me, occasionally music (but more for emotion), and fragrance.

Use of the 5 senses to describe a before time might be interesting.

Now I'm back at my grandparents... circa 1960: a red cardinal, smell of rotten tomatoes, lilacs (May 1963), cold floor of the basement (we slept there on hot nights in August), flash of the fireflies, the slant of the hillside, the red sidewalk and white tires of nasturtiums, taste of split pea soup, and fresh baking bread (twice/week). Sound of? Maybe the porch swing... ah... the whistle of the steam engine (Pennsylvania RR main line).

Thank you for taking me down the dirt/gravel path through the hollow."

To Phyllis: "Thank you. It's not always easy and I get frustrated.

I have a major problem with Christians... I realize that it's not fair to lump them together. I fail to understand why, when it comes to sexuality, they can't mind their own business (in Thailand the Buddhists struggle but do much better). I have come to the conclusion that some truly feel that they personally are called upon to save the world from all 'sins' and that they must witness and save family and friends. But once again... why can't they mind their own business?

I need to write a blog about this. There are Christians here who could shed some light on this social-political issue. It's pertinent because of what deSantis and his ilk are preaching.

I'm not always able to consider a different p.o.v. when I feel personally threatened."

To Steven: "I read the first chapter and put it on my daily to-do list.

I don't agree with your concerns though. 1. It's Australia... I don't expect to understand everything. Growing up I had never been to Yorkshire or England, but that didn't stop me from reading "Wuthering Heights". 2. It's not my style of writing (except for ... indicating a pause, a breath ... a ...) but it definitely works for a first chapter in the sense that I want to know the details that you so cleverly left out. 3. Yes, it's the 1980s and dated and that's part of the charm. You were around in that time period so it doesn't come off as 'historical'. A GenZ author couldn't authentically write this without extensive research. 4. You are far too hard on yourself. Yes, writers get beaten down but there's no need to apologize. 5. Since this is the second time this event occurred what about the third? I suspect that the 2020s are due for a repeat of horrors."

To Sarah (zwisis) on FB: "06/06/66 It's the 6th of June in the year 2566 in Thailand. Lots of 6s. No particular meaning attached to that number 6 that I know of. It's a pink day with cotton-puffs that will turn angry later.
How am I doing? I miss the sense of community we had in Blogville over a decade ago. I'm one of the few who still blogs (almost daily) and comments on other people's blogs; but, very little interaction. Y'all know how chatty I am. WdC is more like the Land of the Silent Tight-Lipped Lambs these days.
No duckies, no dogs, horses or pot-bellied pigs.
I feel isolated and depressed on-line and in-real-life. The view from the outhouse I feel I've been relegated to is awesome though..."

We walked to UD Town. I weigh 81.4k; Pan has gained weight and now weighs 77k. Yellow watermelon, roti, fish skin. I liked the fish skin. 50 baht for a bag. 84 degrees at 21:30 and I'm out-of-sorts.

05/06/66

22 degrees at 07:30.
blog. Joy/Sonali/Rhychus/Charity 10:00
Exor. 200/100/100/200 = 600 10:50
obsv. wet railing, wet window ledges, wet... puddles, birds on a line, frog-croak overnight (up at 03:36), two boys, 8 yrs playing games, wet reflections, cool, breezy, did I mention wet... 10:50
Thai. (อยู่)+Prepositions of Place https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYTDRiBxLP8 12:05
เที่ยง 80°F 27°C Overcast.
ss&s. 12:30
pôod. 13:30
tvBL. Eclipse Skyy2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAmKWWHQKPU 15:30
Walk. 17:15
84°F 29°C Overcast.
foto. clouds, orange flower. 18:15
shop. 19:00
pool
PorP

Mess. I didn't but Pan cleaned.

I'm depressed and there's no one to talk with.

To Joy: "The word vigilante is key here. There's a certain intolerance that's taken hold of the American population again (a latter-day shunning if not criminalization of minor offenses). Although it's evident in writing circles I'm more concerned about politics and social issues.

That said, I've seen people correct my spelling here not realizing that there are regional and dialectical differences or that I may be using a word from a different language (sometimes I'm aware of this, but not always). Ignorance is one thing, billigerence is another.

I tend to use spoken speech and prefer concrete words to academic abstractions. That's frowned upon by some. I like to play with language which is also not always understood or appreciated.

I travel the world so I'm amazed at people's grasp of English while I'm fumbling around in the local language.

To mangle a phrase, "the enemy of good-enough is perfection".

Pan has undergone treatments because he thought he was ugly. He showed me old pictures from before. I could cry. I would have loved him regardless. He tries to compensate with 'toys'. It breaks my heart.

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