My Conversion Story Journal

July 5, 2023

I had to reschedule my Decoding the Hebrew Language class today because my Rabbi added a Halacha class taught by the older adorable Rabbi whose name I never remember but always has great and clear information. Tomorrow is the fast of Tammuz to mourn when the Romans broke through the walls of Jerusalem. It marks the beginning of the three week mourning period commemorating the destruction of the Holy Temple. The 1st and the 2nd temples were destroyed on the 9th of Av (July 27th this year). The fast of Tammuz is only a minor fast beginning at dawn and ending at nightfall. The 9 days leading up to that day (the 9th of Av) have many rules. No meat is permitted except for on Shabbos (the Sabbath - Friday at sundown until Saturday at sundown) is just one of the rules.

It breaks my heart to read about the desecration of the temple, the large number of Jews killed and enslaved, and the temple being burned to the ground. I could ask why G-d would allow all this, but I know that G-d gives choices and free will. Having free will means we can both exercise our free will and are subject to another's act of free will. We cannot enjoy the joys of something without sometimes having to deal with the consequences of people misusing it.

Thank you Hashem for bringing me to you and giving me the chance to choose you. I love you, Hashem, G-d of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, my G-d with all that I am.