Everyday Canvas

The Self-Critic

Prompt: I am my own biggest critic. Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself. Do you criticize yourself? What's the best way to overcome our self-critic?

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What's so wrong with self-criticism? I think we all do it at one time or another. And yes, I do it a lot, but I have learned over the years, to tell myself, if I'm still under the influence of a questionable situation, "Not now, do this when you are calmer." Then, when I'm calmer, I try to assess the situation to see where I went wrong and where I did well. This is because self-criticism has both positive and negative sides to it.

On the plus side, it can foster personal growth and improvement and lead the way to enhance our abilities and skills, while encouraging accountability, so we can make amends for our mistakes. When done with constructive intentions, self-criticism makes us adapt to others and difficult situations much better while showing us the way of engaging in more effective communication with others.

On the negative side, self-criticism--when it is too much--can result in continuous self-blame and negative self-talk, inhibited action, and relationship strains. This is because it can erode self-esteem, prevent us from taking risks, and even may lead us to be suspicious of ourselves as well as the other people, most of the time.

A healthy self-awareness is a very valuable tool for personal growth and it can be exercised in a much more realistic fashion than putting ourselves down. Thus, after any iffy incident, to prevent the self-loathing and cruel self-criticism--after calming down and giving ourselves some cooling-down time--some of the questions to ask and answer can be: Why did I do/say that? What is a better way to act and talk if a similar situation would arise? In what ways can I make amends? How can I prevent myself from acting this way, again?

In essence, I think the act of analyzing and evaluating one's own thoughts, actions, and behaviors is a positive thing, but I also believe it is a good idea to try to tone down excessive self-criticism because of its negative effect on our mental health. Luckily, this can be done by exercising at least some self-compassion and understanding.


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