Jots and Tittles and other Random Things

Short Story for Race Car WC - 529

"I don't want to do this anymore!"

Diane sighed. Her only son Toby was getting yet another shot. He had been getting a series of shots for quite some time now, and it was painful to watch, let alone receive. The nurse was gentle and kind, but the medicine was brutal. If he didn't get the shots, he would get sicker, and most likely die. Toby is only 6 years old, and has suffered since He was three. The doctors gave no hope of a cure, only the prolonged agony until he finally succumbed to this insidious illness.

"I know, my heart, but it is necessary."

"I don't care anymore! It burns! I hurt!"

"Don't talk like that, please, Toby. I know it hurts."

"I just want to be with Sissy. Please, Mom!" Tears rolled down his eyes.

Toby had never met Sissy. Her name was Abigail, and she had passed away at 5 due her illness. Diane talked about Abigail, and Toby had given her the name Sissy. The doctors didn't hold out hope for her either. But with time and research, there had been a medicine to help slow down the illness. Diane had one more year with Toby than she did with Abigail, and she was determined to hold on as tightly as she could.

Toby's declaration had brought her up short. Did he really suffer so much that he would want to leave her? Did she even have a right to ask him to hold on for her? These questions hurt to think about. Diane knew she was being selfish, but she didn't want to lose yet another child. Fate was indeed a cruel monster, but what about her? Was she being cruel to hold on at any cost?

The shot given, Toby cried himself to an uneasy sleep. Diane laid next to him with her arm around him. Toby's tears broke her heart. She wrestled in her mind until the next day.

When Toby woke, he cringed in pain. Seeing his mom next to him, he smiled wearily.

"Another shot, Mom?"

"Toby, let me ask you something. Do you really want to go be with Sissy?"

Nodding, Toby replied, "I'm tired, Mom. I just want to sleep."

Tears falling, Diane squeezed his hand. "OK. No more shots, then."

"Really?"

"Yes, honey, really."

The light shining from Toby's eyes at the news made her decision only a little easier. When the nurse arrived, Diane talked to her at length. The nurse nodded her head and so began the palliative care. No more intervention, only comfort.

It was only a matter of a few days, and Toby slipped into a coma. He seemed to be at peace. A few more days, and Toby was with Sissy. Diane cried, but her tears were for herself. Toby didn't hurt anymore, and Sissy was surely there for him.

"I'm sorry, son, for trying to hold on to you. I only wanted a little more time. Please forgive me."

Having lost two children, she decided not to try again. She would be content knowing that they were safe from further harm, and that one day she would see them again.

Note ▼

This story just came to me. It is not fully fleshed out, and I'm not exactly sure why I wrote on such a theme. Anyway, here it is.