Writing Blog

20231006 Accountability 6

October 6, 2023, 8:00pm

Wow, this hurdle is a huge one. The Story has refused it three times; I think that means it would be disqualified if it was competing in the three-day event. Maybe even taken out the back, shot, and sold to a glue factory.

This morning, I deleted everything I wrote yesterday, then added the same number of words in a different direction, but it was a struggle. More to the point, I am now really behind with Weekend Notes because the only music I found myself listening to was a heap of Cold Chisel classics. Great music... and two songs take me back 35 years to a pair of girls I treated so appallingly badly, and one of whom, I miss incredibly, and the other who was the first girl I think I ever truly "loved" (whatever that word means).

Why should all of this be a worry? Well, I did set myself a goal of finishing the story this week, and that leaves me only two days, and I haven't even come close to the climax yet. Yet I am continuing to keep myself accountable, and that's why I am typing here.

I still don't have an ending, but there might be a fourth option that is showing itself. An open ending. A nasty one, too.

We (the woman and I) spoke today and cleared a little of the air. Other people interfering is making our already awkward relationship more awkward. I still really like her; she still thinks I'm just a friend. Not good for me.

I need to ask myself, though - is it her I really like or the idea of being with someone who is nice to me? Am I that lonely that I am projecting and latching onto someone who doesn't deserve my insanity? I think it needs to be considered.

Anyway, if I can get my head out of my proverbial arse long enough, I know what's going to happen next in [Untitled], and it is going to be quite the challenge for my mediocre descriptive talents. But that is going to be good for me. Ish. Something cinematic and yet internalised on the written page.

I am nothing if not a would-be writer.