My Conversion Story Journal

October 12, 2023

Tonight was Talmud with the Rabbi who glows. He said that he wasn't going through the portion to be inspirational, but he most definitely was inspirational. His message was exactly what I needed to hear. When war happens, there is a myriad amount of emotions that a person goes through to process what is happening. I have been depressed, sad, angry, confused, and in mourning. I am still mourning for those lost and will continue mourning, but I was reminded tonight that it is important to feel hope, to not be afraid, and to know that victory is certain. G-d promises victory to Israel. He is with every soldier fighting, because he promises to be with them and promises to grant victory over their enemies.

The Rabbi also talked about the power of the Shema prayer and it's recitation twice daily (as is the mitzvah). The belief in one G-d is what sets the Jewish people apart from all other faiths. When they go to battle, they take with them The Creator himself. How can failure be possible when G-d fights for his people? Failure is not possible. It is not an option. If G-d can create an entire universe with one breath, who could possibly stand a chance against him, against Israel?

He said something about the soldiers that I did not know and was amazed by. Every soldier, the observant and the non-observant, are wearing tzitzit. This, just as the Shema prayer does, shows how Israel is set apart from the rest of the world. Though the world may understand the significance of this, every Jew does. To be a Jew means to be a people, to be one. There is no such things as a lone person in Israel, there is only the people of Israel, and G-d is with and fights for Israel.

So though I am still mourning tonight, I am understanding my friends and my teachers a bit better tonight with this important reminder from my Rabbi. So do what you can do support the soldiers, even if it only saying the Shema prayer twice daily as commanded. G-d will honor that, because Israel is one.

I think of my bedtime prayer that references Tehillim (Psalm) 91 that describes not being afraid because of saying, "The Lord is my refuge" and "You have made the Most High your dwelling place." Faith and trust in Hashem is the key to victory. I have been saying this prayer (Psalm) for months, but I am understanding it on a different level tonight. G-d is in the very midst of battle, because the soldiers put their faith in him.
Psalm 91 https://www.chabad.org/library/bible_cdo/aid/16312/jewish/Chapter-91.htm

My Hebrew tutor GZ has lived in Israel through two wars and tried to convey this hope yesterday. I'm sorry I was too overwhelmed with my grief to see it. My prayer tutor L also attempted to convey this truth yesterday when he talked about his time serving in the IDF. Though he encouraged me and made me feel so much better and helped me sleep in peace, I still did not grasp it last night. It took a third teacher to help me understand. There will be a time for mourning (not that I won't still have those feelings), but right now is the time for support for battle to stop the murder of more innocent lives.

If you pray, please pray for Israel. If you don't know what to pray, pray one of the prayers available at the following links.
https://www.sefaria.org/Siddur_Ashkenaz%2C_Shabbat%2C_Shacharit%2C_Communal_Pray...
https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/809299/jewish/Psalms-for-Times-of...

If you would like to donate, here are a couple of places to donate to help Israel.
https://www.chabad.org/special/campaigns/israel/donate.htm
https://www.timesofisrael.com/where-people-abroad-can-donate-to-israels-hospital...
Your local Chabad Center


If you need to do more, please read this article and watch the video for more ideas.
https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/6120608/jewish/7-Things-You-Can-D...