Complex Numbers

Area 51

This one's from Atlas Obscura, and will surely put to rest the pervasive rumors about secret government alien conspiracies.

    Area 51, Aliens, and the Truth (It’s Out There)  
A national security historian explains what’s really going on at the infamous Nevada site.

Ah... but that's what they want you to think.

One of the reasons people can never be entirely sure about what is going on at Area 51 is that it is a highly classified secret military facility.

Someone is entirely sure about what's going on. They're not talking.

It was not until 2013 that the United States government even acknowledged the existence and name “Area 51.”

After which they heaved a great sigh and opened Area 52, because Area 51 wasn't secret enough anymore.

As a national security historian, I know there’s a long history of secrets at Area 51. I also know that none of those secrets have anything to do with space aliens.

Or is the author lying?

The base commonly referred to as Area 51 is located in a remote area of southern Nevada, roughly 100 miles (161 kilometers) from Las Vegas.

It's also immediately adjacent to where they did underground and open-air nuclear bomb tests. Perhaps the aliens require a higher level of ionizing radiation to survive.

Area 51 was selected in 1955 to test the U-2 in part because its remote location could help keep the plane secret.

Where the streets have no name...

Area 51 became the test site for other secret new aircraft. This included the A-12, which, like the U-2, was a fast-flying reconnaissance plane. The A-12 was first test flown at Homey Airport in 1962. It had a bulging disc-like center to carry additional fuel. Its shape and shiny titanium body could well have been responsible for some people’s reports about seeing spherical ships, also known as flying saucers.

Why? Were they made out of swamp gas?

When the government does not tell the public the full truth, no matter the reasons, secrets can lead to wild speculation. Secrecy can leave room for conspiracy theories to develop.

And when the government does tell the truth, conspiracy theorists assume it's lying.

In fact, many UFO sightings match almost exactly with dates and times of flights of then-classified experimental aircraft. We also know that prototype drones and more recent versions have been tested at the site.

"Many." So... even if you're telling the truth, others are still aliens?

In the end, there is no reason to think that anything other than earthly technologies have been behind the strange sights and sounds at Area 51.

Ah... but that's what they want you to think.

Okay, seriously (everything I wrote above should be taken with a grain of iodized salt), the government needs to test their super-secret spy technologies somewhere. The only place in the US more remote than the middle of freakin' Nevada would be in Alaska, and that presents logistical challenges, such as either sending stuff across Canada or over the ocean, not to mention it's cold. Though I'd wager there's secret shit going on in that state, too. There's secret shit going on in a lot of places, including a site not far from where I live.

One day, it'll all come out in the open... and then certain people still won't believe it.