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A series of stories involving my family's battle against Foreign movies. |
It was December 15th, 2023, and it was a drafty afternoon. You and your family were thinking about going to Podnuh's BBQ restaurant since it was your late father's favorite BBQ place. You and your family would proceed to drive out there and pull into a parking lot. You would then proceed to go inside the place and attempt to place an order at the counter top. You would then see a big, toothless woman coming out in an apron and gown that is covered in grease and has sores all over her face. You would recognize her as the owner of the restaurant and you think she is on Meth or something. She would look over your group with an evil look and says, "Sorry, I'm not in the mood to serve you!" You would try to persuade her that your family is hungry and you all want to eat! She would then have a big smirk on her face and says, "I'll tell you what...tell that cute brother of yours to come on over here and I MIGHT give ya'll some food!" You would then remember that this meth head has a crush on Ross! You remember about an incident where she 'accidentally' rubbed up against your brother and the friend he was with got uncomfortable and dragged Ross out before anything else could happen! You tell her that you couldn't call him over here and your family ended up leaving empty handed...with empty stomachs...thankfully there was a McDonald's nearby... Back at home, you would be biting into your Big Mac at the kitchen table when you start to bust out crying. You would then angrily pound on the table as you continue to feast on your greasy burger! On December 16th, 2023, You and your newly wed wife would wake up with some intense hunger. Apparently, all those Big Macs you and her ate last night didn't last long in your big guts. As you and your wife get up from bed, an idea crosses your mind...you would take your family to the Waffle House! It was one of Ross's favorite breakfast places since he was in Jr. High! Your family would get up bright and early and would quickly head over to the nearest Waffle House. As you and your family walk in, you would try to get a table, but a waitress would look over both you and your wife and says that she cannot find a place for your family to sit and either your family leaves or you could place an order to go. Enraged with this fat-phobic talk, you would try to reach over the counter with your meaty arms, but your wife would pull you back and drag you back out of the Waffle House before you could do anything! Back inside the SUV, your wife would tell you that she has recently bought a new waffle maker in case something like this happened. You would happily agree with her and would proceed to go back home with her. Back at home, you two would hurriedly rip open the package the waffle maker was in and would quickly plug it up. Your wife would then pick up a box with some pancake/waffle mix in it and would have a hard time reading the directions. After putting everything into a bowl, she would struggle to find a clean spoon to stir the batter up with and would settle for a butter knife instead. You ask her if she knows what she is doing and she angrily tells you that she does! She would then proceed to pour the batter into the waffle maker and push the lid down. As she pushes the lid down, some batter would ooze out from the sides of the waffle maker and would make quite a mess on the kitchen counter! As your wife grabs a rag to clean up the mess with, you would try to talk to her and try to calm her down, but she would finally snap and starts to yell at you, telling you that she has everything under control! As you two continue to argue, you would smell something burning and would realize that she is burning the waffle! You two would manage to put the fire out, but as your wife opens up the waffle maker and looks over the burnt waffle, she would then burst out into tears before storming off into the bedroom. You would then put both hands over your face and let out a deep sigh as your wife spends the morning sobbing out loud. As your wife continues to sob loudly, you would remember just then that the new Godzilla movie is still in theaters! You would then tell your wife and kids about this and it would seem that it has perked up your wife a bit before you all would drive to the town's movie theater. However, upon arrival, you would see that the parking lot for the town's movie theater is empty and it doesn't seem like anyone is there. It would then dawn on you that the town's mall and movie theater got shut down due to financial issues. As you sit in an empty parking spot, you would swallow down some pride before you would head to the ONLY OTHER theater within driving distance...the International Movie Theater... As soon as you arrived at the theater, you would get your camera ready to do some vlogging and your group would soon approach the ticket stands... After you approach, you try to order up some movie tickets for you and your family for the new Godzilla movie, but the Japanese woman working the register would look at you with a sinister look and flats out tells you, "At this time, I'm not selling you any tickets!" You would get baffled and ask why she wouldn't and she says that she does not feel comfortable with you filming everything. You would try to calm her down with some nonsense when all of a sudden, the front doors would get busted open and one of the gargantuan security guards would come out and approaches you! You recognize this 'giant' as one of the guys that frequently escort your brother around the movie theater at times. He would tell you to shut the camera off as filming is strictly forbidden within the International Movie Theater. You get pissed off and tell him that your brother Ross would frequently post pictures and videos on his Twitter here and the security guard would just blow you off with the nonsense of, "he has permission!" As you keep trying to get movie tickets for Godzilla, a woman would yell out, "HEY FAT ASS, HURRY UP AND EITHER BUY A TICKET OR GET OUT, YOU ARE HOLDING UP THE LINE!" You recognize that voice from nowhere...you would freeze up for a moment before you would look back and see her...it was the skank again, THE SAME FUCKING SKANK THAT ROSS MET UP WITH BACK IN THE SPRING OF THIS YEAR, AND ON THE NIGHT OF YOUR UNCLE'S FUNERAL, ROSS WOULD BRING HER BACK TO HIS PLACE AND DID...SOME THINGS...WITH HER... With your blood still boiling, you would immediately storm over to where she is and start hollering up a storm! She would then act repulsed and pushes you back, saying that you look and smell like you haven't bathed in weeks! First of all, you are amazed at how she could notice these things, and secondly, HOW DARE SHE SAY THESE THINGS TO YOU OUT LOUD AND RIGHT IN YOUR DAMN FACE!!! You would then start shoving at her until she, quite literally, lashes out at you with her claws and leaves a couple of scratches on your face! Your wife would see this and she would soon storm on over and starts to get in her face as well! Just as your wife starts to push her around, the skank would snap and swings a punch at her! Your wife would yell as she goes flying back into a cement pillar! Baffled at what just happened, you would yell out at the top of your lungs and soon after, a whole horde of security guards would rush on out of the building! Unfortunately, instead of going after the skank, THE SECURITY GUARDS WOULD GO AFTER YOUR FAMILY! Your family would get pushed off of the property and back into your SUV! Back in the SUV, you would look over at your wife and see that she has, once again, gotten a black eye from this Godforsaken place! Back at home, you would find out while nursing your wife's black eye, that your family wants to go see the Christmas lights that night! After bandaging up your wife, you would all head out to see the Christmas lights that night! However, after seeing all of the lights, you and your family would head to the part of the parking lot where all of the food trucks are...or at least it's where they SHOULD be... As you look around in the empty spot, you would fly into another blind rage over the food trucks not being present this time around because you are still quite hungry! As you keep fuming, you would remember something about how one of the security guards from the International Movie Theater have made a mockery out of your town's only movie theater getting shut down because the town has suddenly started going through an economic downfall! After you blew off quite a bit of steam, your family would leave the festival with empty stomachs and head home. Back at home, you would find some pizza that you think has been in the fridge for about a week or two, grab a few slices, and popped them into the microwave. As you heat up your semi-moldy pizza, you would angrily tap your fingers on the kitchen counter, thinking that if your father was still alive, not only would he put a stop to Ross's shenanigans with the foreigners and drugs and whatnot, but would step in and saved the town from this horrible economic crisis and kept the town's movie theater open and your family wouldn't of starved during the Christmas festival! On December 17th, 2023, you and your wife would once again wake up with your guts rumbling from hunger! Not in the mood to do anymore cooking, you and your family decided to go pay the Golden Corral a visit! As you and your family would go in, you would request a table for you and your family! The waitress would look over you and your wife and would tell you that all of the tables are taken for the moment and you would have to wait at least an hour for one! Enraged by this, you would begin to pound your meaty fists onto the counter, shouting, "HOW DARE YOU REFUSE ME AND MY FAMILY SERVICE HERE! LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING RIGHT NOW, EITHER YOU GIVE ME AND MY FAMILY A MOTHER FUCKING TABLE OR I WILL SWEAR ON MY FATHER'S MOTHER FUCKING GRAVE I WILL SUE THE SHIT OUT OF ALL YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!!!" Shortly afterwards, you and your family would be pushed out by the management and his team and have the doors slammed down on your faces! Your wife would then give you an evil look before asking what you are going to do now. You would then remember a pizzeria that Ross went to a lot during college and went there! Things would be going normally for you and your family until you started biting into the first two slices of your pizza. As you do, you would start to think back to the days where you and your father would go to a pizza buffet restaurant and would eat pizza together after a successful night out! You would then start to bust out crying as you continue to eat the pizza. On December 18th, 2023, you would once again wake up with your throat feeling like shit and you coughing up a storm. You would then feel like you are running a fever again and you start to panic, realizing that this situation is starting to look real familiar...and just as you expected, your wife and kids wake up feeling quite sick as well! You would then angrily drive yourself and your family to the hospital and once again, you all get tested for COVID...and once again...you all tested positive... As you and your family lay in your beds, you would snap once again as you realize that you and your family, ARE ONCE AGAIN SICK WITH COVID, ALL THANKS TO THAT FUCKING BASTARD ROSS! IF HE HAD NEVER WENT TO THAT FUCKING INTERNATIONAL MOVIE THEATER TO SEE THAT DUMB SAUDI ARABIAN MOVIE, YOU AND YOUR FAMILY WOULDN'T BE BACK IN THIS MOTHER FUCKING HOSPITAL! HELL, IF HE HAD NEVER WENT BACK TO THAT FUCKING INTERNATIONAL MOVIE THEATER AT ALL, YOU AND YOUR FAMILY WOULDN'T HAVE SPENT THE LAST FEW MONTHS IN THIS FUCKING HOSPITAL AND MISS OUT ON HALLOWEEN, THANKSGIVING, AND NOW THE FUCKING CHRISTMAS SEASON AS WELL! As you lay down on a hospital bed, AGAIN, you would feel your anxiety pick back up as your kids scream and cry in pain from sickness throughout the hospital... (Warning: the following media contains actual children getting distraught. If this upsets you, DO NOT PLAY!) |