Porthole

41st week of the Year 180.

(exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs/newsfeed/notebook) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-into-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง. (talking to ex-pats/travelers/strangers in European) = chat. (Thai teaching book) = book. (hand written journal) = jour. (contests) = test. (water) = agua. (National Blog Post Month) NBPM. Groan

31 desember 31 ธันวาคม



exor. 300/300/400/500 = 1500.
cook. rice/garlic/onion/egg
ss&s.
เที่ยง. 86 degrees. AQ 39 (fair)
bogs. Stik/
PorP. "Kintsugi"  "A Tale of Glass " 
test. "The Origins of the House of Huffyndor" 
Blog. "Radio silence" 
shop. eggs, shrooms
chat. Oat, P'Nan. Venus and Boris from Slovenia.

Caught the fireworks on video.
Pan sent me a photo of his sister and family.

9100 views as of today.

30 desember 30 ธันวาคม

exor. 300/300/300/300 = 1200. Approx. lost count. 75 degrees. AQ 43 (fair).
obsv. drongos; pounding; clouds > light clouds; chirps; pigeon flight.
cook. rice with veggies and duck.
ss&s.

Cozy/comfort; routine/boring; adventure/seeking; beauty or money; right/wrong/whatever; internal/external; fear or certainty.

เที่ยง. 81 semi-cloudy degrees. AQ 40 (fair)
chat. Rick, P'Nan...
blog. "Oh December, I hope I forget you! " 
PorP. "Teeth of a dog" 
test. Entered two of Kittie's contests. Old: "Dazy Hell" 
ytBL. "Last Twilight" Ep. 8 with subtitles.
walk. Nong Bua, loud music, ate bun.

29 desember 29 ธันวาคม

exor. 400/300/300/500 = 1500. 73 degrees. 09:45-10:21. AQ 47 (fair)
obsv. heron hoot. Tom in orange, hands aflutter, clear sky, birds, one bee, no butterfly... then a myna unsuccessfully chasing a yellow flutterby.
ss&s.
เที่ยง. 84 degrees. May have gone up to 90 today. AQ 45 (fair).
shop. Added 150 baht to my phone.
walk. Central Mall.
blog. "Salmon soup at a Norwegian restaurant. " 
chat. Ying, Golf, Hans.
bogs. Sara/Brian/Tracker.
tv25. Last Twilight.

Fed the elephant again.

Prompt: "There's nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline, no matter how many times it's sent away. Sarah Kay. My response: I like the prompt and the image it evokes. But, I'm not a beach person. The first time I saw the ocean was February 1974. It was a tropical night with the Southern Cross in a pitch-black sky. Hard to find one of those these days. I was at Manuel Antonio in Costa Rica, long before it became a tourist hot spot. The lapping of the waves depressed me in a way I hadn't experienced before.

Quotation Inspiration

28 desember 28 ธันวาคม

Grief will have grip on you until you let it go. It'll hide in dark corners but light can cleanse even those. And lightened grief becomes a memory and then a wisp of distant clouds. Thinking of Serena Blade (Huser:letyv1981)
4
You're not okay... and that's okay. In time you may be okay, but not today.

Be kind to yourself and surround yourself with kind people. Withdrawal would be a natural response but I don't recommend it. Staying connected without having to mask your grief would be better. I found that having one small very small goal per day helped when I was in shock over events years ago. Now, I take walks (noticing both the beauty and ugliness along the way; it keeps me grounded), exercise (because I have control over that), write (tears and rants) and try to stay connected by saying hello to anyone (even a chat about the weather helps).

I have big decisions to make this month, but today I'll just do the above.

To Lyn: "I hesitate to respond because I'm living a different reality and my childhood was different as well.

In Montana I've switched beds (from twin to queen) over the years from 3 spots (the fourth has the kitchen). It's a struggle when too much stuff is crammed into two rooms. Easier to just move something into the hallway and back again. When I return I want to downsize.

In 2022 when I desperately needed help Bry cleaned and helped me unclutter. She's much stronger than I am. One of the key decisions was taking furniture down 2 flights of stairs and placing it next to the dumpster.

Here in Thailand I don't have as much but need to seriously reorganize and give stuff away or bring it back to Montana. Regardless, our beloved rice-cooker stays. I'll miss it."

Anticipation trumps Anxiety. Remind me of that later when Anxiety comes calling.
exor. 400/300/300/500 = 1500. 70 degrees. 10:09-10:43. AQ 55 (poor)
obsv. volcan cut down, no butterflies, silent birds.
ss&s. extra lotion on skin. left shin is bad.
bogs. Serena/Apondia/Lyn
เที่ยง. 82 degrees. AQ 52 (poor)
walk.
shop. bought rice. 139 baht for 5 kilos.
agua. 5 liters.
tv25. Faceless Love. Don't quite understand the story nor the angst portrayed.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/crenshaw-bill-against-college-dei-oaths-...

27 desember 27 ธันวาคม

I was so tense all night. Visa renewals are NOT automatic. I had difficulty coming back from Malaysia a month ago. So... my visa was up tomorrow. I went today, paid my 2.000 baht and now have until January 27th. Easy-peasy but nerve wracking until it's over.

ss&s.
visa. Took tuk-tuk (100 baht).
walk. from Immigration to Nong Prajak and back. Bought frog, kao pad gai, peanut-butter milkshake.
chat.
exor. 300/300/300/300 = 1200. 84 degrees. 18:10-18:37.
obsv. dirty-orange horizon, smoke, calmish, quiet; grilled frog, sprinkler and puddles.
blog. "One month ... max." 
tv25. Finding Yourself... still not grabbing me.
bogs. AmyJo/Patricia/Mouse.

26 desember 26 ธันวาคม

bogs. Sara/Carolyn/Stik.
exor. 300/300/300/300 = 1200. 66-70 degrees. 10:40-11:06. AQ 55 (poor)
obsv. orchids finished, decorations coming down, ice, sunshine, calmer, new shoots on the แคนา (khaenaa).
ss&s.
เที่ยง. 73 degrees. AQ 56 (poor).
PorP. ""Paradise Lounge" D26 #20 40w 'mechanical'"  Last entry for 40 words.
blog. "January 2024 angst"  "W stands for..." 
walk.
tv25. Finding Yourself... but not into it.

25 desember 25 ธันวาคม

bogs. NormaJean/Neva/Intuey
exor. 400/400/300/500 = 1600. Not stressed. 68 degrees under thin clouds. 10:55-11:38.
obsv. The Deconstruction; mynas strutting, hills shrouded, thin clouds, no shadows, muted jets, new bronze leaves.
เที่ยง. 73 degrees. 10:55-11:38. AQ 57 (poor) faraway hills barely visible.
ss&s. twice.
chat.
walk. Nong Bua.
foto. animal tracks
วิดีโอ. dancers in red outfits.
cook. shrimp, chicken, pork, pa lo.
tv25.

I worried about Pan not eating, but he did eat some late in the evening. He seems okay... but I'm not fooled. He's muttering to himself. That's better than catatonia.

Received merit badge today for finishing 40 words challenge. I'll post one more.

Be Romantic

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