Writing Blog Number 2

20240125 Direct Speech

Direct Speech

Another reader request. Apparently I did this some time ago, they lost it, and asked me to repost it. I can't find it either (!), so I have rewritten it.

When it comes to punctuation, direct speech is where I see the most mistakes.

First, the use of quotation marks that surround direct speech is generally double: “ . However, most Australian publishers, some smaller UK publishers and some in the Asian countries use single quotation marks: ‘ . Personally, I’d go double because it really separates the dialogue well and doesn’t look like an apostrophe, and the vast majority of publishers expect it. But do check the publisher's style guide before submitting.

Next, every new speaker gets a new paragraph. This is vital to reduce confusion in a reader. While we're here, not all direct speech needs dialogue tags. If there's only two people talking, then it should be obvious who is saying what.
         “I saw you at the shops,” he said.
         “Where?” she asked.
         “Smith Street.”
         “Oh, there.” She smiled at him. “I was buying milk.”

Note the use of commas to separate dialogue tags from what is spoken. This is something that some people get confused by. I hope my examples to follow will make it clear. (ish...)

Sentences inside quotation marks follow the rules of sentences everywhere. If it is a standard sentence, then this happens:
         She went to the shops.
becomes
         “She went to the shops,” he said.
The last full stop becomes a comma. The punctuation stays inside the quotation marks. However, if reversed:
         He said, “She went to the shops.”
Now the comma is after ‘said’ and the full stop ends it inside the quotation marks.

If there are two sentences being said and you want it broken up by the dialogue tag, then:
         “She went to the shops,” he said. “She was going to buy milk.”
Note the second part is a complete sentence with a full stop, and there is a full stop after ‘said’, not a comma. This is because the dialogue tag is attached to the first sentence.

If it is one sentence split by a dialogue tag, then it changes:
         “She went,” he said, “to the shops.”
Note the commas everywhere and no capital letter to start the second bit. But only if it is one sentence broken up.

We do not replace question marks or exclamation marks with commas, nor add a comma as well as the other punctuation mark.
         “Where is she going?” he asked.
*note the lower case ‘h’ at the start of ‘he’.
         “Stop!” he yelled.
*same here.

If it is not a dialogue tag, then the commas are not necessary.
         “I went to the shops.” She smiled and held out a cake. “I bought this for you.”

If an action actually interrupts the speech while the talking continues, the generally accepted punctuation involves em-dashes:
         “I came from over there" — he jerked his thumb over his shoulder — "and it was empty."
Note the action has a lower case letter to start, and the dialogue continues as if it had not been interrupted.

If you are talking to some-one, use a comma to separate the person being addressed.
         “Mum, you’re embarrassing me.”
         “You’re embarrassing me, mum.”
         “You, mum, are embarrassing me.”
If more than one person:
         “Mum and dad, I love you, but you are embarrassing me.”
Also applies to greetings.
         “Hello, mum.”
         “Goodbye, my friend.”

Then there is the really technical one. When a person gives a speech and it goes over more than one paragraph, then there is no closing quotation marks until the final paragraph:
         “I am pleased to be here,” the king said. “Standing in front of you, I am reminded of the greatness of our nation.
         “However, dark times are ahead and we must all now come together to defend the realm. All able-bodied people should take up arms and defend the land. We must work together to keep our lands safe from the invaders!
         “So, please, join me and the armies to keep the invaders at bay.”
In this case there are three (short) paragraphs, so closing quotation makes only occur at the end, and in that first sentence where we have a dialogue tag.

And I’ll close with a very technical one. If a person’s voice trails off while they are speaking, then use an ellipsis.
         She looked at the sky dreamily. “I wish I still had…” she whispered.
If some-one is cut off, then use an extended m-dash.
         “Will you leave that—”
         “Be quiet!” his mother interrupted.

Use of dialogue tags is sometimes contentious. Some publishers say only use basic ones – said, asked, yelled, etc. But some say that to add variety and some extra emphasis, use whatever you want – screamed, sighed, whispered, murmured, groaned, etc. You will find whatever works with your style, so go with what works for you. Some publishers/editors might ask you to change some for their house style, but unless they are going to actually publish you, then if you do or not is up to you. My one bit of advice is don’t overuse them. I have read some books where all characters do is ‘murmur’.

As a final note, some writers don’t use dialogue punctuation at all. This is considered experimental, and it takes a really good writer to carry it off and make the dialogue still feel like dialogue. Also, many publishers will reject it straight away. It is your call, but it is not recommended by virtually anyone in the publishing industry.