The Guinea Pig Files. Tales of Ralph, Toby and Graham |
GUINEA PIG ONE (Ralph): Hey Toby! Why are we dressed up as groundhogs then? GUINEA PIG TWO (Toby): Do you know Ralph, I have absolutely no idea. (Ralph and Toby look expectantly at GUINEA PIG 3) GUINEA PIG THREE (Graham): Perhaps it has something to do with groundhogs not being indigenous to the British Isles and the probable expense of hiring actual groundhogs from a zoo or similar even if they were willing to loan them out to a weirdo. (Stunned pause) Ralph: Erm! Are you feeling all right Graham? Toby (Aside to Ralph): Do you think he's sickening for something? Graham: Gottle of Geer, Gottle of Geer, Gweep! (Ralph and Toby noticeably relax) Ralph: Has this got something to do with Groundhog Day? Toby: Again? Ralph: Well it's beginning to look that way. I think he's obsessed. Graham: A Groundhog is not just for February 2nd you know. Toby: I'm not sure anyone ever thought that they were. Ralph: I don't think anyone much thinks about them at all unless they're right on their doorstep. Toby (Suspiciously): Do you think this has anything to do with merit badges? Graham: Do either of you remember the intro to 'Hong Kong Phooey'? (Ralph and Toby exchange glances) Toby: Well that was a bit of a lateral jump. Ralph: Not sure we're following you there Graham old chap. Graham: Here it is. Check out about 0.19 seconds. (Ralph and Toby slowly shake their heads) Toby: You could have just said. Graham: Where's the fun in that? |