Alotta Monkey Business

Be Anything

I don't know what children are told nowadays, but when I was younger (a lot) I was often told I could be anything I wanted when I grew up. By the time I was in the sixth grade I had surpassed my previous desires to be an astronaut and had re-decided on being an author. One day in class we were asked, in front of the entire class what we wanted to be when we grew up. When Ole Mellonhead (a popular nickname for her) asked me, I proudly stated that I wanted to be an author. She laughed and ridiculed me, finally finishing with, "You'd be lucky if you got hired to clean an author's bathroom. Sit down!" Needless to say, I didn't think about writing again until years later when I was in college and had to take composition class.

What has this got to do with Presidents Day you ask? You did ask didn't you? You didn't ask? No matter, I'll tell you anyway. That day, after all had stated their dreams, some accepted, many laughed at and ridiculed (Mellonhead hated most kids), Ole Mellonhead asked why no one had wanted to be the President. I raised my hand and when no one else volunteered, was finally called on. I could see the anticipation in Mellonhead's eyes as she waited for me to say something about being the president so she could again rip my heart out and crush it before my eyes.

But, I was ready for her. I stood looked at my classmates and stated, "I had thought about being the president once, but my mom forbids lying, so I don't qualify!" Before she could comment, and as the laughter in the class quieted down, I asked her, "Gertrude (she despised any student calling her by her first name) did you ever dream of becoming the next führer?"

I had three days in-house detention, but it was well worth it.

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"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J.