Curiouser and Curiouser

D-1: Identity Crisis - Who Are You?

Create a blog entry (or static item) that deals with moment(s) you’ve questioned yourself over any decision. (<1000 words)

I've spent a long time in school. After I graduated from university with my BA in English, I took about two years off and went to England. After I came home, I went back to work (and paid off my student loans—I was working as a tech writer for the local university). And then, in 2003, I decided to go back to school for a MFA in Creative Writing.

It wasn't a difficult decision. I have always loved writing. And it went well. I got into the school I wanted. I did have to take out more loans, but I eventually got student work, and I was doing well in my classes. I also was auditing various things to make sure I had balance in my life—each semester I took a dance class or an art class—something to take a break from my papers. I was getting straight A's.

But my health began to suffer. In late 2005, with all my course work done, I decided that staying out at college wasn't working. I wasn't getting my thesis done. I could do the same thing if I just went home and worked remotely. And so I did. I let my apartment go and headed home, sure I was going to be able to finish my thesis.

At home, my health continued to deteriorate and I didn't keep in as close contact with my thesis advisor as I should have. My thesis stalled out. For years. I would work on it in bursts and then get distracted by other things. I would sent an update, and he would send me notes and I would sit on them. And then weddings started happening in my family. In 2008, two of my sisters got married in June, and then in July, I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. By this time, my thesis had been dormant for three years.

It takes a long time to recover from a hospital stay. And I had been very sick. I slowly worked to get my health under control, but by the time I was at a point that I wanted to look at my thesis again, it had been so long since I'd finished my course work that I knew I'd have to retake classes. So, I reapplied to the MFA program at the local university and started retaking my coursework.

By this time, I was not the oldest graduate student in my classes, but I was among the older ones. I aced my course work. I loved workshops. I worked as a graduate instructor.--teaching freshman composition and even my own fiction workshop I got to the same point that I had at my previously—all coursework done, and still working on my thesis.

And then, the same thing happened. Here I was, so close to being done, but I didn't have coursework to focus on, and I was going to focus on my thesis, and it didn't happen. A bunch of other things happened. My sister had some health issues and I helped with her kids for a bit. My brother and sister-in-law had a baby and I went out to California to help with their kids. Everything in my life was happening but my thesis, which was stalled yet again.

And so I started questioning my decisions. I knew I'd spend such a long time working on it that I wanted to finish. But I wasn't focusing. Lots of soul searching. Lots of questions. Finally, I realized that the only time I really worked on it was when I had classwork to focus me. And so I took one final workshop.

And I finished my thesis. More than fifteen years since I started working on an MFA.

word count: 623

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iKïyå§ama


Wow, that is a long time, but I'm glad you finally accomplished your goal despite the obstacles that came your way.
Never give up attitude!

eyestar~*


Wow! What a journey and lots of learning along the way! I believe priorities work out ..not just always our timing! Awesome Outlook!

Lornda


Wow. I'm glad it worked out. Wonderful entry! *Smile*