Wonderland - Version 2024

A3 The Golden Key

A3 The Golden Key

I cleaned out the craft dresser the other day. Because I am handicapped with my broken hand, my husband helped. We sifted through years and years of collected ephemera. So many zippers, straight pins, hundreds of buttons. Then there were popsicle sticks, old bits of fur, corks from wine bottles, glue gun, glue sticks for said gun, paper for paper crafts, and a paper punch. I found a little bottle full of hair doo-dads I had forgotten about. Elastic on giant spools, rick-rack, ribbon, mercy me.

I was looking for a particular fastener for a jacket. Perhaps you know of this? They are called a ‘frog’. A coiled cord or metal fastener that is used for jackets or coats instead of a button or zipper. I knew I had such a thing. Low and behold - I actually found this thing! So now I could put it on this jacket that I got at the thrift store.

Hubby got bored by this time and left me to clean up. Fine, I’ll take care of the mess, I thought. But there was one more box to check. It had fake teeth in it. This was a gag gift I got one year for Christmas. I felt like throwing them away, but thought I’d better check first. A little golden key fell from that box. It was hidden under the Bubba Gump teeth.

“Congratulations! You win! Call 1-800 555-8901 to claim your prize” was the label tied to the golden key. I started to dial that number, but stopped. If this was a gag gift, then who’s to say this wasn’t a gag within a gag? Or what if I called and the teeth blew up like a bomb? Or was that phone a secret number to the CIA or FBI? I’d invented all sort of conspiracy theories far above and beyond the IQ level of the gift giver.

I put that golden key back where I found it. Then I put the box with the gag teeth and golden key in the donate pile. I’ll let someone find it in a thrift store. It’ll be a big mystery for someone else to puzzle over.

W/C 362

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