Bibimbap 비빔밥

Do we hide from the language of love?

I prefer to write in my dialect, regardless of what spell-check and grammarians think. I'm not writing academic essays nor am I trying to impress the elite members of society. I do use standard language at times and I often speak slow and enunciate. I'm aware of my 'audience'. Some folks from other lands marvel at how they can understand me! It's not magic... but takes some effort at times.

Love is another language. In Thai it lives in the proper forms of address, the intimate pronouns, the exclamations and body language. Thai is contextual, visual, personal. Also tasty! One can show love by feeding someone, offering food, showing up with their fav food.

Me? I never learn quite what works. I have made friends over the years and some people actually like me; but, anything more intimate is problematic. It's 'safer' to love at a distance... and lonelier.

In person I tend to hide-in-plain-sight. People can read me like a book. However, I do mirror/camouflage... very helpful in connecting with strangers (thought: "Left Hand of Darkness" by Ursula Le Guin). It's hard for me to mask. But I must be successful as few ever guess how wounded I feel at times.

I've written a lot about how I feel in my blogs and in my poetry. I'm sure it leaks out in my 'stories' as well. If I ever get bored (as opposed to listless like this moment) I should reread what I wrote years ago, edit, make an item, share here or elsewhere.

To Santeven Quokklaus: Spell check and grammar programs don't cope well with dialects. Both will be the death of expression. Language lives in dialects. Would you say most Australians can speak a standard dialect or at least understand one?

To Sumojo: I believe Neruda was writing sonnets to his wife; although, I don't doubt your viewpoint. I remember falling in love 57 years ago. I was 14. But 'love' has never gotten me anywhere, other than helping me survive. There are different types of love. Her in the western colony we obsess with romantic/sexual love. The sex, however, must never be directly shown; we're cultural prudes. Neruda wrote 100 sonnets for his future wife. I mostly love (pine) from afar.

To jabberwocky: I mirror, camouflage and mask... is it protection? or a way to connect? I dunno. Finding the right therapist is daunting. I've been lucky... twice. 18 years of this and that for me here [at WDC]. My early days were more productive and higher quality than the last four years though. *Sad* I need to reread and edit what I have stored here.

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