Scrivenings of the King-Beyond-The-Wall

Space Adventures #46

I’m totally a scientist, I swear.

I have business cards and everything.

Yes, my former alma mater may have revoked my degree for what they called “repeated and flagrant violation of the scientific method” and there may be no professional organization anywhere willing to give me lab space to work from, but it’s fine. I made my own lab out of a repurposed garden shed that I ordered from Home Depot. Neither common sense nor anyone else will deter me from continuing my research.

What am I researching, you ask?

Faster-than-light travel. I’m determined to be the one to solve this particular scientific mystery and take humanity to the stars. Do I have any specific experience in propulsion systems, or alternative forms of energy, or even with general laws of physics? No, but I have read a whole bunch of science fiction novels and have some really good ideas about how we can accomplish that. I’m convinced that the laws of physics that all those eggheads came up with years ago are going to be proved wrong. I mean, theories are disproved and revised all the time, right? I’m sure there’s going to be a big reveal at some point that all of the stuff we thought was impossible was now possible and I’m going to be on the cutting edge of that discovery.

What? Don’t laugh at me!

No, I don’t know how all of these test tubes and beakers that I stole from the local community college science department are going to help me figure this out, but I’m sure I’ll have a use for them eventually; it’s science stuff!

I’m also doing some interesting experiments with chemistry to see if I can invent a new element that will be the answer to our energy needs. I mean, if Avatar can have something dumb called “Unobtanium” then how hard can it be to discover or manufacture a new element or molecule. Maybe it’s going to be the answer to cold fusion, crystallic fusion like in that Buzz Lightyear movie! People laugh at my obsession with science fiction media, but that’s where all the best ideas come from.

I see you rolling your eyes and I can tell you right now that I don’t like it!

I can feel your skepticism but I’m going to have the last laugh when I’m traveling to Stockholm to receive my Nobel Prize for advancements in the areas of physics and extrasolar travel. Mark my words, you’ll be begging me for the opportunity to sit for an interview in a few years, so you should take a moment to really appreciate all of the time I’m spending with you now letting you document my processes. Pretty soon I’m going to need a publicist and a whole team of managers to figure out where to allocate my valuable time. Between all the awards adn the scientific breakthroughs, it’s going to be pretty exhausting I’ll bet.

I’m totally a scientist, I swear!



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(501 words)


Prompt: Write a story about a scientist.