Scrivenings of the King-Beyond-The-Wall

Door #9

The isle of Skane is located north of the island of Skagos and the Bay of Seals. It’s just south of the Shivering Sea. It’s been uninhabited since the Feast of Skane several generations prior, when raiders from the Skagos descended on it and held a fortnight-long feast where they cannibalized the male residents of Skane, and raped and carried off all the women.

Uninhabited until they dropped me off on its stony shores, anyway.

I am Jaeff, soon-to-be King-Beyond-the-Wall. Uniting the tribes of the Free Folk is never an easy task; unlike the Kneelers to the South, leadership and nobility must be hard-earned. A King-Beyond-the-Wall is only given the title by consent of those he leads; it’s a title that can be more easily taken away than it is earned. But my people needed a leader for the impending Game of Thrones, and so I reluctantly took up the quest of securing the title so that I may lead my people to victory.

Although I had staunch allies in the tribes that JayNaNoOhNo and NaNoNette lead, other tribes needed some convincing. . . . Jeremy insisted on a test of mettle to prove that I was worthy to lead them, and Nobody’s Home unhelpfully suggested that I be marooned on a deserted island in order to prove how badly I wanted the title.

Sadly, Aengaela didn’t grasp the reality of how much I did not want this title. But what I want and what my people need are different things entirely. So I consented to being dropped off on Skane with only my clothes, a rucksack of basic survival items, and a mandate to successfully return to the lands of the Free Folk in two weeks’ time if I was to secure the mantle that I knew it my heart was needed to survive the coming war.

I immediately commenced with the planning, not bothering with even making camp in the inhospitable windswept hills of Skane. I wouldn’t be here long enough to need to erect a tent.

The obvious choice (i.e. the closest land) was Skagos which, unfortunately meant the choice was to get the attention of a bunch of cannibals that, with winter coming, would probably welcome the chance to get some extra meat in their storehouses. Some risk was necessary though, so I waited for a break in the winds and started a brushfire with the flint and steel from my rucksack. There was precious little foliage to work with, but the gods were with me as the winds stayed at bay long enough to get a respectable wildfire going, smoke pluming up into the sky.

I made the most of the time while I waited, using the one knife I had been given to whittle a number of stakes and other makeshift weapons. It was hours of work, which I did from the relative safety of the stony shores by the light of the wildfire. But almost on cue, a small galley ship materialized out of the darkness. I took cover behind an outcropping and counted two dozen Skaggs aboard. One man against twenty-four hardly seemed fair; I almost felt bad for what I was about to do to those two dozen poor souls. Well, half of them anyway. There didn’t seem to be a lot of sense in killing them all, only to leave myself alone as the only one to row that big ass ship back across the channel!

By the time I had murder-death-killed my way through half their number using the guerilla tactics I had learned in my youth, I had quite an assortment of weapons at my disposal which were far more intimidating than the pointy sticks I had made, and I had no trouble confronting the remaining twelve one-by-one and convincing them that they might stand a chance to escape with their lives if they’d agree to row me back to Skagos.

I shackled each of them to an oar on the galley and, let me tell you, being under constant mortal threat does wonders for a rower’s motivation. We made it across the channel in record time. Ahead of time, actually, since it was still pre-dawn and I hadn’t figured on making it off the island until day three or four. Not willing to leave a dozen witnesses to tell the Skaggs they had a tasty trespasser in their midst, I anchored the boat about a half-mile from shore and then used the battle axe gifted to me by one of these guys’ dead compatriots to hack a hole in the hull of the gallery, until water started flooding in. I boarded the little rowboat attached to the galley and started rowing the rest of the way to shore while the panicked men chained aboard the sinking ship begged for mercy. Maybe the sea king would help them with that...

Once ashore on Skagos, I stowed the rowboat and upgraded to a small sailboat that was moored in the harbor. I was in the process of stealing securing provisions for my journey back to the mainland when I passed the stables and immediately recognized the one souvenir I wanted to take back with me. It had long been rumored that unicorns could be found on the island of Skagos and, while this was more goat-based than horse-based, there was an undeniable horn growing out of the middle of that thing’s forehead.

So I loaded the unicorn-goat on the boat and set off for the mainland, just as the sun was beginning to rise on Day Two of my maroonment.

The winds were with me and my skills as a sailor came in handy; I was able to catch landfall at Hardhome, a fishing village on Storrold’s Point, just as the sun was setting. For dramatic effect, I mounted the uni-goat as I sailed into port, and just happened to catch . . . Jeremy , Nobody’s Home , JayNaNoOhNo , and NaNoNette as they were having a drink at the tavern overlooking the water.

And that’s why I’m the Free Folk’s King-Beyond-the-Wall. Because when you maroon someone on an uninhabited island and that person returns less than two days later with the sunset at his back and riding a fucking unicorn, you strike a goddamed bargain and agree to let that guy lead you.


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(1064 words)


Prompt: One morning you wake up and you're stranded somewhere on a deserted island. 1. Use your imagination. Who are you? How did you end up there? Are you alone? 2. An unknown ship approaches the island. Who is on it? Do you stay to meet the crew or run? What are they bringing ashore? 3. A bargain is struck! Who made the deal? What kind of deal? Do you get off the island or stay? Or something completely different?