Complex Numbers

Tipped Out

Yes, the article I'm sharing today was one of my inspirations for the Comedy newsletter editorial that just came out: "Keep the Tip" . It's coincidence that my random number generator picked it out of my queue today.

    What is the new etiquette for tipping?  

I've also done other blog entries on the subject before, but this is a relatively new take, from NPR.

Businesses that never seemed to ask for a tip before — like grocery stores, self-checkout machines and fast food restaurants — are now asking for one these days.

As I noted in the editorial, I can't personally confirm the self-checkout tip chutzpah, but this is not the only source that asserts that it's happening. It's rare to find begging that blatant and uncalled-for.

If a business you don't expect to ask for a tip is suddenly asking you for a tip, what should you do?

Ideally, take your business elsewhere.

But Shubhranshu Singh, a marketing professor at Johns Hopkins University, likes to leave a 10% tip. If an establishment is asking for a tip, it's often an indication that the workers there are not getting paid a minimum wage.

If the workers aren't getting paid a minimum wage (outside exempt employees such as restaurant servers, who are some of the few that should be tipped), that business needs to face consequences for it. How that would work, though, I don't really know.

Some businesses load their payment systems with default minimum tip options of more than 20%. If you don't want to give that much, don't worry about holding up the line to take an extra moment to select the "custom tip" option, says Singh.

In those situations, I select the "no tip" option, and definitely try to find somewhere else to shop in the future. I know it's usually not the workers' responsibility to set those defaults. Still, it's bloody outrageous.

Don't forget to tip people who you might not have a direct interaction with, like hotel housekeepers, says Singh.

I'm torn on the whole tipping hotel housekeepers thing, honestly. I've done it. I've skipped out on doing it. I feel like it should be done for extended stays, on the theory that a tipped housekeeper might go the extra mile for you and hopefully not put itching powder in your undies. This makes it more of a bribe than a tip.

Tipping is also a way to pay workers more without actually raising their wages. It allows restaurants to get more money to workers while still keeping their prices low, says Sean Jung, a professor at Boston University's School of Hospitality Administration.

But if tips are expected and customary, as with restaurants, the "low" prices (they've still gone up along with everything else recently) are a lie. Nevertheless, some restaurants have experimented with no-tip options. Usually, this means raising their prices by 20-25%. Then, when comparison shopping, a potential customer sees higher prices and balks, ignoring which places take tips and which don't. Every place I know that tried this route went out of business.

In other words, it needs to be across the board, which means either a) collusion, which, as I understand things, is illegal; or b) regulations, which are already overdone.

Tipping culture in the US is so ingrained that there's not much will to do either. And even if they did, people will still try to tip, because it's what they're used to doing.

Oh, well... at least this article, unlike some others on the topic that I've shared here, doesn't rehash the false TIPS backronym, which, as I've noted repeatedly, has been thoroughly debunked. And yet, the article is light on practical information and encourages way too much work for the consumer, who just wants a damn hamburger.

I'm not saying people shouldn't get decent pay. Quite the contrary. I'm just saying it shouldn't be laid directly on our shoulders. I'd prefer to see the actual price of things up front (and this also goes for hidden fees from businesses like airlines, ticket sellers, and hotels). Until that utopia comes into existence, though, I continue to tip waitstaff and bartenders.